Next Wednesday Wrap is HERE! Join us on the 20th September!

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Parent Peer Supporter

Re: Next Wednesday Wrap is HERE! Join us on the 20th September!

We were writing at the same time @Ngaio-RO

 

My daughter has started work and has had a couple of issues at work because of her illness. She is 15 and I have wondered a few times if I should call and speak to the managers, or check in and see how she's managing from their point of view.

 

But is it now my job to sit back and let her deal with this, and just support her from my end?

Special Guest

Re: Next Wednesday Wrap is HERE! Join us on the 20th September!

@Ngaio-RO - all great questions!
My first response is probably not surprising, which is to find out as much as possible about the mental illness - education and understanding reduces stigma, and we need to deal with our own misconceptions first.
In terms of telling school / work, this is always a tough one, with no right / wrong answer. Disclosure is always a topic of conversation in SANE's community.
My advice around this is to let a child tell their friends, family, school, work in their own time. Often they need to build their own confidence before sharing it with others.
Super contributor

Re: Next Wednesday Wrap is HERE! Join us on the 20th September!

I love that idea @Nicole-SANEaus of letting the young person direct and control the information themselves but should a parent be involved in helping them shape that conversation or should it completely be the young person's decision?

 

What about you @taokat how do you think your daughter has gone/would go with working out how and when to tell others?

Special Guest

Re: Next Wednesday Wrap is HERE! Join us on the 20th September!

It's our first reaction to want to jump in and help our kids, isn't it @taokat Smiley Happy
What type of issues are happening at work? I guess what I'm asking is it that people are giving her a hard time because of her diagnosis or is she having some symptoms at work that could be impacting her work?
Did she tell you about this herself?
Parent Peer Supporter

Re: Next Wednesday Wrap is HERE! Join us on the 20th September!

At what age do we leave that decision to tell the school or work to our kids @Nicole-SANEaus

Special Guest

Re: Next Wednesday Wrap is HERE! Join us on the 20th September!

@taokat - when I get asked this question, I try and take out the type of illness it is and think about it as if it was an allergy, or asthma for example. Some kids are great at taking responsibility for their health and the management of the health younger than other kids. So, they are more likely to speak up when they aren't travelling so well.

So it can depend on how mature / independent the child is.
Either way, it's important to talk to your kid about what they would feel comfortable with their school / work knowing about them.
Parent Peer Supporter

Re: Next Wednesday Wrap is HERE! Join us on the 20th September!

@Ngaio-RO, it's been a learning curve for her. She used to tell all her class mates, but learnt that that wasn't a great idea as it opened her up to bullying. 

 

She did talk to her managers at work about it, as she wanted them to have some understanding if she was having a hard time.

 

It is so the first reaction to want to jump in and steer the ship @Nicole-SANEaus! I always have to think about what is driving my urges to get involved! She was having some symptoms at work - she had a bit of meltdown one day during an 8 hour shift, but they managed her well, and she managed herself well. Yes, she told me herself. 

Special Guest

Re: Next Wednesday Wrap is HERE! Join us on the 20th September!

That's awesome that she told you herself @taokat - having open communication (as with all teens!) is the key!
Super contributor

Re: Next Wednesday Wrap is HERE! Join us on the 20th September!

@Nicole-SANEaus That's such an amazingly simple and yet great way to approach this. Like any other illness. If your kid is great at looking after their inhaler and telling teachers what their needs are for their asthma then great, if not then they need a bit more support. So obvious! *slaps forhead*

Parent Peer Supporter

Re: Next Wednesday Wrap is HERE! Join us on the 20th September!

I thought after I wrote about what age to leave it to our kids @Nicole-SANEaus, that there's probably no set age as they are all so different!