11 year old granddaughter is socially awkward and withdrawn

[Elizabeth66]

I’m concerned about my 11 year old granddaughter. She doesn’t communicate very well if at all. She doesn’t engage in sports hobbies or social activities. She doesn’t have any friends and seems to critique any that try to be her friend. She seems to have a lot of anxiety and will sometimes get angry if you ask questions or just try to have a conversation with her. I’m concerned that she’s isolating herself from most everyone. She’s intelligent and artistic. She doesn’t seem to care that much about her hygiene and I have to make her shower, deodorant and brush hair. She’s bright and kind I just feel like something is going on I just don’t know what. Note: I don’t believe there has been any physical abuse or anything. She is either with me or her mother.

[Bre-RO]

Hi @Elizabeth66 thank you for sharing your concerns with us. It would be hard to know how to approach the situation, especially if you're trying to avoid asking too many questions/angering her. 

It sounds like this sudden change in your granddaughters nature. If she is experiencing anxiety or low moods for the first time I can imagine it would be hard for her to find the words to articulate this new experience. 

It's reassuring to know she has caring guardians such as yourself and her mother ensuring she is okay. I am wondering how your daughter is coping with the situation? It must be hard for her too.

A  good first step could be to look into chatting with a counsellor to  get some support and advice on how to approach. Is that something your family would consider? 

We have some great articles with tips on how to approach these conversations here if you're interested in reading. Our content is more suited to older kids and teenagers so I'll share this link which will take you to raising children's networks - they have lots of age specific information on how to help your granddaughter too.  

 Take care and we hope to hear back from you.