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12 year old twins having no friends.

12 year old twins having no friends.

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Marie2

12 year old twins having no friends.

Hi I am anxious and have been worried for a long time regards my twins boys having no friends and now commencing high school . They were at the same primary school for pst 5 years separate classes but have not been invited to a play date , sleepover, birthday party since they were 7. They have one friend from karate and another from mums friends but have nil outside friends. They do sports, karate, acouts but have not managed to fill a friendship gap with these. I work full time so couldn't do meet parents outside classroom. I tried with other mothers form the school and we would get one play date it nil after and nil reciprocation if we did it. Any ideas how to help or do I just try and let it go but they are lonely. Thanks regards Marie
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Vanessa-RO

Re: 12 year old twins having no friends.

Hi Maria2,

 

I'm so sorry to hear you have been feeling anxious and worried for a long time around your twins social connections. 

 

This is actually a common concern when raising twins. Twins usually find their best connections in each other and struggle to find other connections just as strong as the one they have with their twin. They are usually their own best friends. It must be stressful as a parent because of course you want your twins to have friends and other social relationships. Continuing to encourage them to engage in social activities is probably the most helpful thing you can do.

 

You might also like to consider joining some mothers of twins online groups, as you may find it helpful to know you are not alone in your concerns. Are they showing or expressing any concerns about having no friends? If they seem to be content and happy, then that is also good to acknowledge Smiley Very Happy 

 

A support service you may find helpful is Parent Line. Have a search online to find your state contact number for the service. 

 

Thank you for joining the Reach Out Parents community and you are always welcome to seek additional support here too Heart

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mict2000

Re: 12 year old twins having no friends.

This is eerily similar to my situation. My nieces are 12, had some friends from karate, one old friend from elementary school and one new friend bit now have zero friends and talk to nobody but themselves, show no spirit or interest in anything but Identity V. We go places, for example a Ukraine rally on Saturday and they don't talk, don't listen to what's being said, look at the ground, wear their hair covering their beautiful faces and all I ever get from them are grunts and at most one word answers. And I'm the fun uncle. Their parents are having the same problems. Their grandmother died last month and they showed zero emotion. Their other grandparents live three doors away and they show them absolutely no affection or interest. They never ask questions. Seriously, it's like their spirits have left their bodies. They used to laugh so heartily and be so silly and crazy but that's all gone. I am so lost. We all are, uncle, parents, grands.
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Taylor-RO

Re: 12 year old twins having no friends.

Hello @mict2000, thanks for sharing. I am sorry to hear about your experience with your nieces and your loss of a loved one. It sounds like you are feeling concerned about their behaviour and are not sure what to do next. I imagine that it must be difficult for you to feel so lost, alongside the rest of your family. These behaviours that you mention are not always uncommon, especially these days in a world of technology and social media. That being said, it is important to monitor these behaviours and seek support when relevant. Do you feel as though their behaviour is creating any issues for them? Are they currently receiving support from any health professionals? Do they have any hobbies or personal interests?

Either way, please feel welcome to keep us updated. We are here to listen.

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