13 Year Old Sister Awkard and Immature- Worried about Bullying and Social skills

[katelinh]

My younger sister just turned 13. My parents recently separated and there’s been a lot going on. I’ve been away at school and am only really home during the summers so I havnt been here much.

My parents basically let her do whatever she wants with little guidance. She dresses terribly. Most her clothes are too small and dirty. She wears things like soccer jerseys that she got five years ago to school. As well as exclusively wears fuzzy type sweat pants (that maybe a third grader would wear), and refuses to wear jeans or nice pants. And it’s not that my parents aren’t buying her new clothes, they’ll basically buy her whatever clothes she wants and have bought her nice things she just won’t wear it.

She doesn’t brush her hair. It’s a fight to get her to shower. Shes starting to break out a lot but never washes her face and showers like once a week. Also isn’t wearing deodorant. She won’t wear even a sports bra despite the fact all the other kids her age do. She’s basically not doing the basic things that come with growing up.

She has a few friends but I know is part of the “unpopular” group at school. She’s very into books and things that are more suited for kids at a grade 5ish level. Which is fine but I’m worried about how other kids react. It’s like she has no self awareness.

I try and take her shopping, or help her with things but she is insanely stubborn and set in her ways. It’s like if she listens to any of our (mine and my parents) suggestions then it would be giving in and she can’t do that.

I’m worried about how she’s perceived at school with the way she acts and dresses. I’m also really worried about her mental health, as she spends a lot of time alone and is quite an outcast among most kids.

I want the best for her but anytime I try to help her she gets mad and thinks I’m trying to “force her” to be like the popular kids. I don’t want her to be popular I just want her to be socially mature and dress appropriate for age so she can have friends and thrive at school. But I’m at a loss of how to help her.

[Erin-RO]

Welcome to RO @katelinh and thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds like you may be feeling a little frustrated that your younger sister and parents may not share your concerns? Which is understandable, you seem to only want the best for your sister.

Has your sister ever said that she's worried or concerned about she's perceived at school or that she spends time alone? For example has she said she's experienced bullied or feels lonely or disconnected from her peers? 

Also it sounds like you may not be Australian based? So just bear in mind most of our resources are local and may not apply to you directly