13 year old boy behaviour

[lizard0812]

I am really struggling here. I haven’t even got my son he is with his dad and I am still letting all the stress and worry consume my every thought. It is killing me slowly. He is coming back to me tomorrow which is causing me severe anxiety (he has been good all week so I guess I’m waiting for the explosion) How can I live my life feeling like this. I don’t feel I can cope for another day let alone what could potentially be another few years. I am sure my friends are sick of me being so down and out so I’m cutting myself off which I know is not good but really don’t know what else to do. I can’t do anything to make myself feel good cause I feel so bad if that makes sense. How do I keep going on.

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @lizard0812
I can hear just how much distress you are feeling right now It is such a tough time for your family, and given how unpredictable the behaviour has been, it is completely understandable that you are feeling overwhelmed right now

Would you consider speaking to someone at Lifeline or the Parent Line about some ways of maintaining your wellbeing when your son comes home tomorrow?

We are also here if you need to chat tomorrow when he comes home. We are here to listen 

[lizard0812]

Hi @Jess1-RO I had app with paychologjst yesterday I just feel I’m stuck I can’t for some reason let anybody help me. I think it’s because I feel so low that there is nothing anybody can do for me or my son that will make things better. Even though he has been good with his dad I can’t think positive about him coming home. It’s a horrible way to feel I just wish there was a magic pill that could stop these horrible feelings.

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @lizard0812
What you are describing about feeling stuck, is something I feel a lot of parents here can relate to That's a really difficult feeling to be carrying on your own at home and the anticipation of not knowing how your son will be must be so hard.

Please feel free to check in with us, and even to have a vent space, over the next few days as your son returns home. We will be here for you if you need put the emotions down in writing, or when you need someone to hear the pain you are feeling

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @lizard0812,

How did it go with your son returning home? How have the last few days been for you and for him?

We have been thinking of you this week and sending our support your way 

[lizard0812]

Hi @Jess1-RO things started off ok and day 3 we were going out to dinner to friends all looking forward to the catch up and I had shower got out and he had disappeared just like that. I called him he actually answered and said he needed some space for a bit but would be home. Why would I have believed that. Anyway he also took money from me and stayed out until the following afternoon. I made him do a drug test when he got home which was all negative. He said he was helping a mate who needed some money which is in my sons nature but I’m not convinced. He has been ok since but I am devastated and feeling like I have lost complete control. He has never stolen money and my trust in him has now completely gone. I don’t like the person he is at all at the moment and I struggle to see anything is going to change any time soon. I’m having constant panic attacks I just don’t want to do it anymore. I hate my life at the moment. Thanks for asking I have been trying to get on here to post but haven’t felt able.

[Jay-RO]

Hey there @lizard0812, thanks for updating us on how things are going

I'm sorry that things haven't been all that great with your son. While it's great that he answered your call, stealing money can definitely break the trust you had and that's okay. It can be hard to see if things will be different in the future, sometimes it can take time for people to change. 

I was wondering, have you seen your psychologist recently to talk about how you've been feeling with your son home?

[lizard0812]

Hi @Jay-RO life has got tougher unfortunately. Back to school one day and already suspended. We are now facing having to change schools. He is refusing headspace appointments we have pediatrician app on Friday that I’m taking him to regardless. He is pretty much shutting down from everybody. He went into such a rage yesterday cause I asked him to do some school work. I nearly called the police cause it was frightening. He did settle eventually and then slept for 3 hours straight. I am broken completely I’m just functioning on auto pilot I think. It’s so so sad do watch this all unfolding and not be able to fix it

[Jay-RO]

Hey there @lizard0812,

Thanks for the update I'm sorry to hear that going back to school hasn't gone well. Do you think changing schools will be helpful for him? 

Hopefully the pediatrician appointment this Friday goes well, it can be difficult to provide support when they won't go to appointments. Is his dad any help in regards to going to appointments? 

It sounds like last night was rough for you, I'm glad that things settled down in the end although feeling unsafe is never a good feeling. I was wondering, have you spoken to your psychologist recently? It might be helpful to bring up these recent events with them, to discuss how things are going, what do you think?

I'm also going to tag in some other users for their support  @taokat @sunflowermom @Happy @Schooner @compassion @Faob_1 

[lizard0812]

Jay-RO I’m hoping getting him away from the school will make a difference. He has quite a few food friends at the new school that he was in primary school with and they are good kids still. I guess we don’t have a choice he won’t settle at the other school no matter what we try. I have now also today had a second session with parent coaching which I am finding beneficial and I don’t feel so alone. I have seen my psychologist which helps a bit but I just feel so alone and so sad at how this is all panning out. Dad is good but he refused paint blank no matter who was taking him. Thanks again for your support