14 year old school refusal what do you do!

cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Reply
Highlighted
Casual scribe

14 year old school refusal what do you do!

My 14 and a half year old son is flat out refusing to attend school, it’s been a month now and I’m just besides myself for various reasons, he has ASD and I’m sure ODD, but is refusing also to acknowledge he has any problems and won’t go to a doctor or physiologist as it didn’t get him anywhere last time so his not interested.

I have finally secured a meeting with the school next week to discuss options with them, but was wondering if anybody else has any suggestions, I know they can in rare circumstances allow them to go to TAFE college or the likes, but I feel probably not until his 15 at the end of the year. He is not academic at all and my hope is for him to get into a trade when his 16.

any advice much appreciated 😊

Community Manager

Re: 14 year old school refusal what do you do!

Hi @QueenV 

 

Thank you for coming here to talk about this Heart It must be really hard for both of you to be out of routine for the past month. It's good to hear that you've got a meeting with the school - I'm just wondering if your son has told you much about why he isn't wanting to be at school? 

Parent Community Champion

Re: 14 year old school refusal what do you do!

Hi @QueenV 

 

This is a troubling issue, and as a parent I am understand how upsetting it can be for both you and your son.

School is not just about academic education but also social development and part of helping our teens move into independent living.

 

My (almost) step daughter went through something similar and with persistence my partner was able to engage her daughter with medical professionals and to get a formal diagnosis.  This then allowed her access to "distance education" even though we live in a major city.  Through this program she was able to use to continue her education.

 

They key to all of this for us was realizing in her case it wasn't just a recalcitrant child but a genuine mental issue which had to be dealt with.  No as she nears 18 she is working on completing year 12

 

Not saying this is applicable to anyone else but this was our experience.

 

 

 

Casual scribe

Re: 14 year old school refusal what do you do!

Thanks PapaBill for your genuine response. Yes I think getting him to acknowledge he has a mental health issue is the key here, he was fine with his diagnosis up until a year ago and now he insists nothing is wrong with him and refuses to see anybody.

distance Ed wouldn’t be very conducive for us as I doubt he’d commit, his just not interested. I will be pushing for flexible schooling at a minimum with work experience etc, just got to battle the school to get it, and the kid to do it!

Casual scribe

Re: 14 year old school refusal what do you do!

Thanks Bre-ro, yes routine is so out of whack it’s disorientating to say the least! 

He hasn’t given solid reasons, it’s just the school, the kids etc, he gets so frustrated at trying to explain he really doesn’t come up with anything solid if that makes sense!

i definately think he under values himself and his self worth and what he can achieve.

we’ve tried putting the onus back on him to come up with a solution to what he is going to do, more to get an indication of what his thinking, he did come up with the work experience idea but then back tracked and wouldn’t commit, I’m at a loss and the more time goes by the harder it’s going to be to motivate him! Just praying for a positive meeting Monday with the school and any ideas that may just spark something in him.

Community Manager

Re: 14 year old school refusal what do you do!

Good luck today  @QueenV  - I hope the school are able to play a role in supporting your son. Let us know how you go.