11-01-2021 10:02 PM - last edited on 11-16-2021 04:36 PM by Philippa-RO
My daughter is extremely aggressive. She purchased a ticket to a Halloween event on the weekend right when her dance classes are on. The concert is 4 weeks away. We told her she couldn't go throughout the week and I thought we had an agreement however when I again advised her she couldn't go she spent the next 6 hours screeing at us, throwing everything she gets her hands in and kicking me and hitting whoever she can get to. She also went in our room and bathroom and reeked havoc pulling out chargers, hiding shoes etc. Her default action is to physically lash out and swear at us. I don't know what to do and where to turn for help. She has no boundaries and says she doesn't have to do anything we say. She is not taking drugs these behaviours have been getting increasingly worse over the last few years
11-02-2021 12:48 PM
Hey there, @enorman thank you for sharing this with us.
I can imagine how challenging it must be to find ways to approach your daughter with a boundary, and I know you are not alone with that.
We've heard from many parents sharing very similar concerns, and hopefully, the community can share their experiences/tips with you. We actually have some articles on boundaries and teenagers, I thought this one might be helpful to read.
Can I ask if you are well supported at the moment? If you feel like you'd benefit from chatting with a counsellor or parent support service please let us know and we'll send you some resources.
11-02-2021 04:38 PM
11-02-2021 11:03 PM
Hi @enorman, thanks for sharing. Please feel free to let us know if you and your partner find anything particularly helpful. We'd like to support you as best as we can. You might be eligible for our one-on-one coaching program, if you're looking for some extra support. There is also the Ngala Parenting Line which you can call for advice and support. They also have resources which may be of some use to you. We are also wondering if you have thought of talking to a psychologist before? All the best
01-04-2022 07:19 PM
01-11-2022 02:55 PM
Hi @Jaine40 ,
I'm so sorry to hear that things have been so tough with your daughter, it must be so distressing to see her behaviour change in this way over the last year. It's great that you've got the support of her doctor- it does sounds like it might be helpful to get some professional advice about her behaviour.
Headspace might be another option that could be helpful for you, they offer free mental health support for young people in their face to face centres, as well as online or phone counselling.
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate with three other kids as well- as you say, it can be so isolating when your young person is having these kinds of challenges. I'm wondering if you have much support for yourself at all? This is a really safe space to talk about what's happening for you.
if you think it would be helpful to talk to someone one to one, we also offer a free one to one support service for parents, you can find out more about that here if you think it could be something you'd like to try.
Wishing you all the best- you sound like a really caring and supportive parent, and it can be so tough when one of your kids is having such a challenging time
04-27-2022 05:39 AM
04-27-2022 12:02 PM
Thank you for sharing your experience with us, it sounds like your family is going through a really tough time at the moment. It's really great to see how much you care and want to support your family by reaching out for some help.
It might be helpful to book in a free session with our 1 on 1 parent coaches - you can do that here. They will be able to give you some more individual advice and strategies to work on.
In regards to feeling like you might have to threaten your daughter that you'll lock her out of the house, I'm wondering if she would have somewhere safe to stay if you decided to take this route? We have this article about supportive parenting techniques that might give you some different options too. It might also be helpful to check out Relationships Australia to see if any of their services would work for you and your family.
I imagine this situation must be causing you a lot of stress, do you have any supports in place like a therapist or psychologist for yourself? It's so important to look after your own wellbeing too.