15 year old son, sex and girlfriend staying over

[JBcentralwest]

Hi
My 15 years old son (end of year 9) has been in a relationship for 5 months. I have been talking to him about sex and consent and safety, taking their time etc and he's been pretty open. He's been pushing hard for mid week sleep overs which we have said no to. He has spend time on the weekend staying at his girlfriends and she has been here. He offered for her to come on our family holiday without speaking to us first - so we've had to hose that down which he's angry about. I guess I'm just wondering whether I'm out of step with where things are at for teens just asking him to take things more slowly with us as we feel our way through this. We have one older son but he didn't have a girlfriend at this age so it's all new to us and I feel like I'm being bullied

[Hannah_RO]

Hi @JBcentralwest , welcome to the ReachOut forums - it’s great to have you here!

It's completely understandable that you might be feeling overwhelmed and uncertain in navigating this new phase with your son and his relationship. It's evident from your post that you are actively engaging in open communication with him about sex, consent, and safety, which is really commendable. Setting boundaries and expressing your concerns is an important part of parenting, and it's clear that you are committed to ensuring his well-being.

It's important to recognise that every teenager and relationship is unique, and there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach. While it's not uncommon for teens to want more independence in their relationships, your concerns about setting appropriate boundaries are completely valid. It’s important to prioritise your son's safety and well-being while also allowing him to experience and learn from his relationships.

It sounds like a good idea to continue the dialogue with your son - and perhaps reminding him that your guidance comes from a place of care and concern. I wonder if there is a way you can try to find a middle ground where you both can feel heard and understood?

If you’re up for a read, we have some really great resources about how to talk to your teen about sex here, and for supporting your teenager to navigate sexual relationships here.

Thanks for reaching out