My son has just started cutting. I think 2 or 3 times, but the cuts are 20-30 at a time and hes not hiding them, just not discussing them,
His birthday was coming up and his friends wouldn't hang out with him. He started a process of pushing us into an argument at bed time, which I should have stepped out of but we ended up in a screaming match. He closed his bedroom door which he never does. The next morning when we saw each other we hugged and he said he was sorry for yelling at me, I thought that was very positive. That night he shut his door again for a while then opened it. I sat in his room each night saying goodnight for a while not really digging but giving him the opportunity to talk, nothing much came from it. I checked his messages that night, he had been texting a girl from school about how bad his friends are and some text was her saying be careful about scars, she seemed very supportive, suggesting he ask another group of friends to hangout for his birthday. He has never mentioned this girl before and its clear they have been chatting on another platform.
I quickly read up on cutting and on the 3rd night the door closed, even though now he had friends connecting with him even saying around the dinner table "I hadn't even considered it might be that those friends were bad friends and that other friends would say yes if I asked them". I nocked and went in, sat on his bed, he rolled away and I said in as level a voice as possible "I know about the cutting, Im worried about you and I love you very much. I have some bandaids and disinfectant here for you to use." He didn't move, I kissed his head and gave him a squeeze waited a moment and left the room.
Next night I offered him a hot chocolate at bed time then sat on his bed where he excitedly went into detail about some you tube he has been watching about film editing and how that's what he wants a career in. No cutting or bad feelings was discussed.
Next day his birthday, I organised his cousin to stay over and they gamed and watched a movie. No cutting.
The other friends catchup is tomorrow and I really hope it happens, very hard for me to make sure as I dont have contact details for the parents.
I havent gone into the cutting much more, only little mentions about helping them heal. I thought to wait until after his birthday.
So, he doesn't want to talk to me but I will continue to try and find opportunities. He refuses getting any help. I took him to a phycologist when he was 11 about having social anxiety and really low self esteem when things escalated where I was told it would help. He wouldn't talk to her and it was really hard to get him to have a session without me in the room (only one was on his own). I had him commit to going for 6 sessions but they got no where.
Any feedback would be great
