15 year old with anxiety and depression refuses to take on any suggestions

[Iris15]

Hello,

My 15 year old boy has been receiving support from counsellors/psychologists for anxiety and depression for 12 months now. He refuses to take on board any of their suggestions and says that nothing they suggest will work for him. When we try to discuss their suggestions he becomes angry and shuts down. He hasn't attended school regularly since the lockdowns. I am feeling frustrated because we don't seem to be getting anywhere and the counsellors say he doesn't give them much.  I'm not sure how to move forward with him until he realises that he needs to do something different, we can't do it for him. Any suggestions on how to stop going around in circles????

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @Iris15,

Thanks for sharing. I can hear how challenging this must be for you. Please know that you aren't alone. This is one of the top concerns that we hear from parents all the time. It must be frustrating and upsetting to be in your position while your son still struggles with anxiety and depression. As the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. That is unfortunately true in this situation. All you can do is offer your support which sounds like something you have been doing.

A massive positive is that he is still attending. It suggests that there must be some kind of purpose to these sessions otherwise he might flat out refuse to attend instead. These might be things you have already tried but have you asked him how you can help or if there is anything you can to differently? Have you tried to explore where his anger comes from? What is your response when he responds with anger? Another thing would be to discuss with a counsellor ways that you can try to motivate him or at least tend to your own needs while trying to support someone else. It can be a tough gig and you deserve some credit for all the work that you have put in so far