02-18-2018 03:35 PM
02-18-2018 04:37 PM
Thanks for posting. First I just want to say that I really do feel for you and your family. This is such a hard situation almsot like you're walking on eggshels to try and find the right action and figure this out. What you've done so far is absolutely wonderful because you've gotten as much support as you can on deck. Now like you say, you're in limbo waiting for the next steps. It's very tricky but I understand what you're saying that for now, it's a case of picking your battles carefully. In saying that, it's ok to have boundaries where you feel there needs to be. This is a lot easier said than done, but try to be aware if you're being emotionally manipulated and it's really ok to be firm. It's a tough balance to be supportive but also have rules that cannot be broken (for everyones safety).
As far as managing yourselves as a family this is also a tough one. I would say this: as long as your son can agree to keep safe and you have a safety plan with him then try to step back and give yourselves some breathing space. Try to share the load and again, if you feel manipulated, be aware and step back from this. This is just a few ideas but it's not exhaustive....you will get more ideas and support here so keep us in the loop. Do take care!
02-18-2018 05:36 PM
02-18-2018 08:17 PM
My son has been treated by a psychiatric team at the Children's Hospital as an outpatient since he was 14. We see them every 2- 3 months (at one stage weekly). We also tried the local community health system for psychology support but it didn't work, so now we see a private psychologist in addition to the outpatient psychiatric service. That plus our G.P. makes a great team.
It took us a long time to find the right meds. Lots of false starts. The false starts were possibly as hard on me as they were on my son. Look after yourself.
I gotta be honest, drugs and alcohol sound like a mistake. I know every situation is different, and I don't know yours. But that can complicated the assessment of the medication, it is already complicated enough! Even if he were not on meds I'd be worried if my son was regularly taking drugs and alcohol at 15. I hope you can find the right solution.
It is hard on the family. My two girls were definitely effected, and it puts a strain on parents too. We didn't tell the grandparents because we thought it was more than they could cope with.
The good news is that he is a lot better these days. Still medicated, but now a more normal teenager trying to catch up on all the school he missed.
02-18-2018 10:36 PM
Hi @Schooner thanks heaps for sharing this. I am so glad to hear your Son is doing a lot better. Many thanks for sharing this experience, it can be good to remember sometimes it takes a few different avenues until we find the right care for our adolescent's. It's about what works for them!
02-19-2018 02:29 AM - edited 02-19-2018 02:44 AM
02-19-2018 02:38 AM - edited 02-19-2018 02:43 AM
02-19-2018 02:42 AM - edited 02-19-2018 02:45 AM
02-23-2018 10:53 PM
Hi td2018 and Others,
There is no right and wrong with all of this.
What one psychiatrist states....another will say the opposite. When our teens were bubs we had the midwifes telling us all different ways to feed, get them to sleep etc and now, just to confuse us even more, we have specialists telling us smoking cannabis is ok and not ok!!
In my experience.....we just need to weigh it up ourselves. Take what we find beneficial from the different "professionals" and test their theories/strategies on our teens. We also need to be proactive. Its a really difficult road and I can understand people who have a mentally unwell teen who say they would "prefer a physical condition" because the treatments are a lot more clear and precise.
But.....there is hope. Always hope....and if you can get a good team on board (such as the GP, psychologist, psychiatrist.....most importantly family support) then it can help. Support for yourselves/ourselves too. This is something I am only just learning to practice....we can get support for our children but what about ourselves??? How many of us keep soldiering on in the hope that it will "all get better?"
Self care is just so important. Its exhausting caring for teens who are struggling in many areas and we need to treat ourselves as we would a good friend. With compassion, kindness, a listening ear and SOME FUN!!