15yr old Angry and Disrespectful

[Coop-2005]

Hi, I’m new here.
I have joined to try and understand what is happening with my son.
Over the past 12 months we have noticed he has become angry, and very disrespectful. Swearing and yelling at us when we ask him to do anything.
He has always been very well liked at school by his teachers, they always had nothing but good things to say about him and his character, but lately we are getting calls from school that he is being disrespectful towards teachers now. Just got suspended for telling a teacher to F off.
He has started demanding more freedoms, we have never let him out after dark. But he is now wanting to stay at friends houses, some of these kids haven’t had the best upbringing, so they can go out all night and do whatever they like.
Something he throws in our faces, that ‘his friends can do it’ he should be able to as well . And he says we are too strict and overprotective.
I recently found weed in his room. Something i never thought he would do, it was completely shocking to us. We feel we have lost all trust in him. He swears he has only smoked it twice.
Is this normal behaviour for a 15yr old? (Obviously not the weed, but the behaviour issues? Hormones?)
Should we seek professional help? We have mentioned to him we could maybe see a councillor together, but he flat out refuses, and flies off the handle.
He does play soccer 3 times a week.
Hates school, but we are currently trying to enrol him into trade college for next year.
I’m just worried sick he will take the wrong path in life, and we will lose him.
I feel we have failed him. We did something wrong along the way.
We are a stable home, 2 parents, has aunts, uncles and grandparents around him.

I’m at a loss.

[TOM-RO]

Hello @Coop-2005, sorry to hear about what you and your family have been going through lately. From the sounds of it, your son’s behaviour has changed quite dramatically and things at school seem to be an issue. It sounds like a really difficult situation to be in. It seems like you have been thinking a lot about how you can best support your son which is great to hear. I think you might find getting some professional support to be helpful as they can give you another opinion on your sons change in behaviour. Would you be able to arrange a talk with the school counsellor about some of your concerns? They might be able to support you further around this or provide you with some services that might be of use. Also, you might find talking to a trained professional about your situation to be helpful. You can call up and talk to a counsellor at Parentline if you are wanting some further support or advice. Here at ReachOut, we also offer free one-on-one support with a professional who is experienced in supporting families. You can read more about this here if you are interested. I hope that you find these to be helpful