17 year old daughter with anxiety and depression " giving up" on everything

[HH1204]

My 17 year old daughter has been seeing counsellors/psychologists/psychiatrists on and off for 7 years. 

She was diagnosed with anxiety and depression about 2 years ago and has been on medication since.  

COVID has been really hard for her ( we are in VIC )  and her anxiety has ramped up. We went back to the psychiatrist  few months ago, who has increased her medication but it doesn't seem to be helping. She was also seeing the psychiatrist for " counselling" as she refused to start talking to someone new. 

She has problems sleeping - staying up til 3am scrolling through her phone as she has told me that she has to do this to take away the anxiety as she cant sleep. 

She has a PT job, but spends all week worrying about going to work. I suggested that if it is to stressful, she should quit but she wont do that as she is saving for a car. She worries about friendship issues at school, she doesn't eat properly and is generally a " mess".

I was hoping that going back to face to face learning would help, bit today she has stayed home saying it is all too hard. 

Bottom line is I feel so helpless. She says she has nothing to look forward to in life so what's the point. She is refusing any more counselling as she says it never helps and that she has accepted that her life is going to be "**bleep**". She stays in her dark bedroom, on her phone and hardly engages with the family. I feel like she is slipping down a big hole and I cant help her out. 

Has anyone else been in this situation or got any advice for me ?

Thanks for reading. 

[Hannah-RO]

Hey @HH1204 

What a rough time you and your daughter have been through, its awful to feel helpless when our loved ones are going through such turmoil, good on you for getting her help and trying different things to support her. 

It sounds like this has been going on for a while, I'm wondering what has been helping you both get through during this time? I understand her medication doesn't seem to be working and she isn't interested in counselling anymore, is there anything that has helped her feel a bit better or given her some joy?

It sounds like saving for the car is an important goal to her, perhaps you could use this to speak to her about things she is looking forward to in the future?

We have an article here about what to do if a teenager doesn't want help which might be useful to look at, and an video here from a psychologist about parents support teenagers experiencing depression. These might be able to give you some ideas about what to do next. 

If you'd like to get some one-on-one support, it could be an idea to have a look at our parent coaching service here. In this service you can chat to a professional from the Benevolent Society about what's been going on for you and chat through options for moving forward. 

I hope some other parents are able to jump in and offer their insights, you're not alone @HH1204 

[Granbear]

Hi I have just joined the site as desperate for help and although I cannot help you I am hoping someone will come up with advice as my 16 yr old grandson has very similar issues. He lives with me full time, I am in the uK but our problems etc identical sadly. His dr won’t prescribe medication just given online sites to look at which he just says won’t help! He s sleeping during the day, awake most of the night, doesn’t look after himself hygenically or want to go to his football group which he loves when there, I am so desperate to help him.