11-22-2019 02:28 PM
11-26-2019 02:48 PM
Hi @Wishful and welcome to ReachOut Parents!
Thank you for reaching out to our parents community, I can hear how much you love your son and want the best for him It sounds like you have noticed significant changes in your son's behaviour since his last birthday. Would you be comfortable to tell us a little bit about what he was like before these changes? Have there been any big things happening in his life? I can definitely understand why you are feeling concerned for him at the moment
You've mentioned feeling heartbroken, and I want you to know that we are here to listen- you are not alone and there are some amazing parents here who will lend an ear when you need one When your son's behaviour is really hurting, do you have anyone you can talk to or lean on? How do you look after your wellbeing?
Sending my thoughts your way today
11-26-2019 06:01 PM
11-27-2019 11:54 AM
Hello @Wishful , it's good to hear from you again.
You sound like a very caring mum, and it sounds like this is really stressful for you. It's great that you're reaching out here for help and support. Negotiating boundaries for teenagers, especially after they've turned 18, can be really challenging. I'm hearing that you have some concerns particularly around drug use, partying and boundaries around curfews - as a parent myself, I can completely understand how challenging this must be.
There's some resources here that may be helpful for you, have you had a chance to check them out?
The last resource I've linked here has some suggestions for how you could raise these issues with your son, these can be really tricky issues to navigate, and you're not alone.
You mention that you're feeling sad every day, and find it difficult to focus on anything else. It is completely understandable that you would be feeling this way, and that can be really hard. Would you be open to seeking some support to help you? Seeing a counsellor or chatting to your GP could be really helpful.
We're so glad that you reached out here
11-28-2019 09:43 PM
11-28-2019 11:30 PM
11-29-2019 10:18 AM
Hi @Wishful and thank you for your response. There is something you mentioned that I am sure a lot of parents can relate to "Being 18 doesn’t automatically make you a responsible adult. That takes time. He doesn’t see it ." I can imagine it is so hard when he doesn't see all the things you know he needs to stay safe and well
Hi @Ginger123 and welcome to ReachOut! I am wondering if you have any advice for Wishful, how do you find setting boundaries and rules? You've also mentioned that your son also struggles to open up to you, how do you navigate that in your home?
It is really beautiful to see our community members supporting each other- as @Ginger123 said, "You’re not alone in this battle". Very powerful words!
11-30-2019 06:18 PM
12-03-2019 09:43 AM
hi @Wishful , it's really great to see you here, and I'm glad that you have had some support from our other forum members too
I completely hear you with the difficulties in negotiating relationships and boundaries with 18 year olds, it's not like there's a magical transition to adulthood that happens the second they turn 18, despite what they may think ! It's a time of transition both for adult children living at home and their parents, and I think that setting boundaries is completely appropriate, especially when your son is living under your roof.
Do you have 'house rules' around things like household chores? Does your son tend to still participate in things like eating dinner with the family? It sounds like you're a really good communicator, and hopefully you can continue to negotiate acceptable boundaries with him.
I love how you focus on repairing your relationship - because I do think that it can be easy to lose sight of how important that is. We are all here for you - parenting young adults can be so challenging.
12-04-2019 10:54 PM