19 yr old daughter livi g with bf family. Sleeping together ok with bf single mom

[LenoreG]

Short story. First relationship. Intimacy. Aowed at bf house. Also living there is sister with baby dad and 3 yr old, 30 yr old half sibling, daughter with bf in basement room and mother. Very small ranch house. 900 sq ft. Almost 2 weeks ago we had fight and I told her to go there but I apoologized in tears but she left anyway. We are beg tberapy but sbe told me zhe has to prove something to me. She is in comm college, no car, no job. We share cars home. Very defeated

[Bre-RO]

Hey @LenoreG 

I'm sorry to hear that you and your daughter are going through some conflict. I can tell from your post that you really care for your daughters well being and future.

It also sounds like you're concerned about your daughter experiencing an intimate relationship for the first time. I think most parents find this stage in their teenagers life tricky to navigate and I'm sure there are some parents here who have some lived experience of it. Have you spoken with your daughter about safe sex? If you're interested we have some resources on tackling this subject with your teen here and here.

I'm just wondering if you are going to therapy together, or if you've asked her? 

We are here to listen  

[LenoreG]

When she first told me she already had unsafe sex and I made gyn appt for her and she went on b/c pills. Very irresponsible. She also informed me tbat he drives after drinking. I told her do not get in the car. Ask for the keys or call uber. I also told her about stds but she daid her bf doesn't like to use anything!

[LenoreG]

We also just started therapy.

[PapaBill]

hi @LenoreG 

it is tough when out teens turn into young adults.  Especially when they start making decisions you don't approve off.  

Getting your daughter onto contraception sounds like a good step.  At 19 kids tend think there current love is for ever and nothing ever will break up there perfect love.   A few years later things can look very different.

Sounds like your daughter is studying at college which is good.   What is she looking to do after graduation?

It is hard to have our kids move out but it is an important step in becoming and adult to live independent of parents and develop the life skills to be an adult

[TOM-RO]

Hey @LenoreG 

That's great that you've started therapy .  How has that been going?

[LenoreG]

She is studying to be a teacher.

[LenoreG]

Therapy just started but we are both committed.

[PapaBill]

Improvements will come in small steps...

Hope the therapy works out well.. 

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @LenoreG and thank you for checking back in 

It is really great to hear that you are both committed to seeking support together- that is such a huge step  Have you had a conversation about some of the goals you are hoping to work through in therapy environment?

Echoing @PapaBill's comment, we are holding hope for you and your daughter