07-09-2017 04:29 PM
It's great to hear back from you @St_George-. That's fantastic your holiday went well. Your daughter would've appreciated her friend beign able to come along too. I'm glad you were able to have some breathing space in that time.
School holidays are always good for time out from schooling issues. It's amazing how taking away that stress can change the whole dynamics.
I know it's not always easy, but good on you for really giving it a go and keeping calm and not responding to your daughter when she is angry and letting loose. I remember the knot in my stomach I used to get before talking to my daughter about something I knew she wouldn't like, but talking calmly and seeing the benefits has now taken that away. I hope you've seen the benefits too. If not, don't give up! The changes will come.
Was it the same day each week your daughter refused to attend school? I'm wondering if there was a class or something on that day she didn't like or was having trouble with? Mine says school is boring too. The key is trying work out what that actually means.
It's a positive thing that the school counsellor and staff were able to engage with your daughter. Do you mind if I ask what their thoughts were? Please only answer if you feel comfortable to do so.
Let me go back and read your other posts, and I'll see what stands out to me. I just want to offer you the most appropriate suggestions. I'll be back!
07-09-2017 07:16 PM
So I've had a good read and I gather that the school wasn't able to give reasons for your daughter not wanting to go to school. Seeing your daughter is only 13 it might be worth researching your rights as parents, to find out whether the school is obliged legally or ethically to pass on any relevant information to you from the school counsellor. If they have been given reasons by your daughter as to why she doesn't want to attend school, it would be helpful for you to know so you can help her.
I understand you've met with the school counsellor and other staff from the school who have spoken with your daughter. I would suggest setting up a meeting with the Principal or Deputy Principal, Year Advisor, Welfare Officer, school counsellor and your daughter's current psychologist if she has one. It'd be great to meet with all these people at the same time to discuss your daughter's school refusal and what the school can do from their end. I found it useful to have everyone on the same page, so we could all work as one.
I'm going to throw in something from left field, but please forgive me if this has been looked at before. I'm very conscious that you've been going through this for a very long time, and have no doubt looked into many things! I was wondering if your daughter has had her eyesight and hearing checked out? Left field thought I had from her teachers reporting your daughter is chatty and you gather she is a little disruptive. These simple things can affect behaviour to distract from the real issue. Eyesight and hearing would be good things to tick off the list of possible contributions to behaviour.
I did notice earlier you had asked how the parent coaching works. It's done online and over the phone. First session is 90 minutes to go over the issues you'd like some support with. You can then have up to another 3 sessions, each one hour long, done at your convenience. The coach will help you with practical tools that you can use straight away. I found it very useful and the coach was so knowledgeable and empowering. You can find the link here to read more and register.
The coaching is run in conjunction with The Benevolent Society, which are another fabulous organisation. We had an amazing caseworker from TBS who really changed our lives by working with my daughter and with me around my parenting. I'm not sure what area you're in, but check out their link here.
I look froward to hearing back from you.
Any other parents have further suggestions?
06-22-2018 03:28 PM - last edited on 06-22-2018 04:18 PM by gina-Ro
Finally I found a place where i can also discuss my problems too. I am also a mom of two children and one is 15 years old and other is 10 years old. Teen age is that stage of life where parents has to look after of his children very carefully. My best told me that you can search on Google like teenage behavior and read blogs about their mental state.
04-30-2019 07:34 PM
Hi all, is this forum still going. Its good to read others are having trouble with teenage girls. My daughter refuses to give up her electronic devices and gets aggressive. She then puts on instagram that I am the aggressive one and that Im attacking her. Today I brought her a pay as you go normal phone, not a smart one. I am dreading breaking the news to her tonight but enough is enough! Can anyone give me any reassurance or help?? @St_George- how have things turned out for you?
05-01-2019 09:50 AM
hey there @Lippylinz - glad you found the forum. Welcome!
Yes it is still going - but this is a bit of an older thread.
Mobile phone and internet use is a huge issue for so many parents of teens - it comes up a lot on this forum! You are certainly not alone.
You could start your own thread to chat more about this by clicking here. More members will see it that way, and you'll be able to hear from other parents.