02-28-2017 11:38 AM
02-28-2017 04:48 PM
Thank you for your support (and information!) We will talk to him about this.
It's difficult for him as he literally has no friends and no-one else to turn to but us. The last time things got this bad, the doctor told us to take him to hospital. BUT...after watching him sit (just about on his hands) waiting for over four hours and constantly being told by the triage nurses that mental health is NOT a priority and watching people walk in with simple injuries, being seen to (and shown such compassion) while my son got NONE of this was absolutely heart breaking. For him and us. In the end, after hearing him say "If I have to wait here any longer I really will kill myself." We simply made a deal with him and left. Unseen. And totally alone. I would never put him through that again.
02-28-2017 04:53 PM
Thank you for taking the time to comment. You really have been put through the ropes. Please accept a huge hug from me!!
Thank you so much for your encouraging words too. How is your daughter doing now? (and you!?)
Taking care of ourselves when we are watching a son or daughter going through this is so very difficult. I feel like life has been put on hold. And as much as my husband and I love each other, there have been some extremely horrible times where we've pulled each other apart. I know that's not going to help, but it's difficult when we have nobody to unload on but each other (this is why I'm so happy to find you guys!)
Thank you for sharing your story, and for the very helpful information. xx
02-28-2017 04:55 PM
03-01-2017 02:35 PM
Hi @dazzlejazz, thank you, I will accept your hug! I hope you're feeling like there is support for you having found ReachOut :-) I think it's quite understandable to unload on those closest to us when our coping mechanisms are completely exhausted. I'm glad though that you and your husband have been able to work through such awful times.
My daughter is doing pretty well now, thank you. She's working hard (so far) to get through year 10. She has her issues that are ongoing, but in comparison to where we were, things are much better. It's tiring though, she's at home 24/7 and sometimes I must admit I miss having time off. I do lie - she plays tennis each week for 90 minutes, so that gives me an hour each week taking out travel time!
I relate to your hospital experience. It was always a 4-6 hour wait for help. One night she was taken in after an episode around 7pm. At midnight I walked out with her. She wasn't fed and naturally after waiting so long she was agitated again. On one occasion the mental health people she did see told her they would organise to get her a dog - because that's what she wanted. We live in a unit with 2 cats!! I said no, but they didn't listen. So many stories I could share about mental health and hospitals!
Self care is difficult when your child is suffering. You kind of feel guilty if you're doing something that makes you feel better. After a few years of feeling like that myself, I finally listened to what was being said to me. I realised I couldn't continue on or be the best I could be for my girl, if I didn't take the time to recharge and be kind to myself. I believe it helps me cope better now. Sometimes I forget until I feel myself losing patience, and I need to remind myself to be my own best friend. Check out the topic on self care, there are some great tips.
I wonder what would entice your son out to fix his motorbike? It would be interesting to find out what thought process it is that is stopping him.
Keep in touch.
03-07-2017 01:27 PM - edited 03-10-2017 02:21 PM