12-21-2017 02:45 AM - last edited on 12-21-2017 11:38 PM by taokat
I just found this forum! Its a relief to find it. My 13 yr old my daughter tried to end her life two months ago and spent two days in hospital as her blood test showed damage to her liver. She had been telling me that she needed help but I was too slow to arrange it. Now she sees a clinical psychologist once a week. Even though she says this is helping her anxiety levels have increased. After visiting her psychiatrist yesterday my daughter is starting anti depression tablets tomorrow. I am not comfortable with this. . But I am hopeful. I am told that anti depressant are used for anxiety. I never thought I would allow my 13 yr old to go on anti depressant. I know it is not going to be a miracle cure! Does anyone have any experience with this?
12-21-2017 12:14 PM
Hi there @Nervous I am so happy that you found us here on the forums and that just by being here you are already finding some relief. I can only imagine what you are going through at the moment and how tough things are for you right now.
Just a quick note - I hope you don't mind but I made a couple of small edits to your post to make sure that they conform to our community guidelines which will allow our amazing parents in here help you out more easily.
It is amazing that your daughter has started the process of getting professional help. While as you talk about in your post she is experiencing higher anxiety in terms of providing long-term help for your daughter it is amazing that you have someone to help you along the way (even if that way is feeling like it is a bit bumpy at the moment).
Reading between the lines of your post, I am getting a sense that you are also a little bit concerned about not picking up on the seriousness of the situation earlier. It is amazing that you are helping her through this situation and I am sure that your support is providing her with strength so you should take comfort in that.
As for your concerns, this too is really natural especially with how tough your daughter and your family is doing right now. You have so much on your plate at the moment and it is only natural that you should be thinking about these issues. It does seem like you are being open-minded and hopeful but realistic about what will be happening over the coming times.
I was wondering do you have a medical professional who is supporting you through this process? Someone who can talk you through some of the concerns you have and help you understand what is involved with this treatment?
There are members here who have spoken so smartly about the issues that you are experiencing like @Zoesplace who might have some insights.
12-21-2017 10:11 PM - edited 12-21-2017 10:16 PM
Hi @Nervous, and welcome to the forum! I'm so glad you've found us - parenting can be a tough job and being able to talk to other parents who experienced similar things I've found to be so comforting and validating. We're often faced with things we hadn't factored in to our teen's lives, and it can really throw us!
I hope you don't mind but I've moved your post here so it'll get more exposure in the community with the aim of getting you more support and reassurance.
I'm so sorry for you and your daughter that she's been through that experience. It would've been so frightening for you. It's fantastic that your daughter is seeing someone on a regular basis now. That will be a great support for her as her anxiety levels fluctuate as she navigates her way. I loved reading that despite your concerns about medication, you're remaining hopeful. It really shows that your priority is doing what's in the best interests of your daughter - that she is your focus. Our teens really need that
My daughter started on medication when she was 10, and I relate to your apprehension about it all! You're absolutely right in that it's not a miracle cure - oh if only there was one! For my daughter though, in combination with other supports, medication really did make a big difference for her. I spoke about my concerns with her psychiatrist and it really put my mind at as much ease as it could be under the circumstances! Would you feel comfortable talking with your daughter's psychiatrist and asking about their reasoning for prescribing medication? Having that understanding was so beneficial for me and helped me trust in his care.
Everybody's experiences will be different, and finding the right medication can be a bit of trial and error. My daughter's now 15 and although she still gets anxious, it rarely stops her from doing the things she wants to do. And that was the crux of it for me really - however we got there, I just wanted my daughter to be able to positively engage with life again. It's taken time, but hang on to your hope as things can get better.
You're not alone, so please always feel free to share your thoughts or unload in this safe place
12-22-2017 01:24 AM
12-22-2017 01:31 AM
12-22-2017 10:38 PM
"Some times I think that I have not analyzed my feeling about this. That I would make myself physically sick if I did. Logically I know that there is no point in doing this."
I feel like giving you a big hug. From experience I want to say there is definitely no point in going back there - there's nothing productive to come from it. The past is the past. You're doing all you can now and that's is positively awesome. I sat in the past in the moment my daughter was hurt by a man I invited into our home. I couldn't forgive myself and blamed myself. It stopped me from being able to properly support my daughter through her trauma which ultimately only hurt her further.
BUT, in saying that, it's not just a matter of telling yourself it's pointless. You're feeling the way you are and your feelings are legitimate. Getting some support to help you work your way through those feelings is care that you owe yourself, and it'll allow you to get to a point where you're not operating out of guilt.
In regards to your question about my daughter - absolutely, please feel free to ask me anything! She does still take medication but nothing like what she used to take. She has bipolar, anxiety and PTSD, but the hope remains that she will get off daily meds and be able to manage without them, except for acute episodes. Many don't need them for so long though. It's very indivdual I think.
12-23-2017 09:30 PM
Thanks Taokat for your kind words and sharing your daughters hardships with me. My daughter is on day 3 of her medication and there are no side effect apparent at this stage. We went Christmas shopping today and whilst she was anxious in the car, she did very well at the shops. I told her this was the best way to handle her anxiety, to do what we planned to do and not let it control her. Luckily she was calm enough to comprehend this.
I also agree with you that it is best I do not dwell on the past, how I could have acted sooner, I have to remain strong for my daughter and husband.
12-24-2017 09:17 PM
My pleasure @Nervous, any time!
That's awesome that your daughter managed to go shopping with you. She must've felt really happy that she was able to push through her anxiety! I always make sure I tell my daughter when I think she's done really well coping. I've found it gives her a boost and also opens up an opportunity for her to talk about her anxiety, how she was feeling, what body sensations she had. It's helped her recognise when she's anxious and manage it more effectively.
There's a link here on anxiety and teenagers that you might like to have a read of. It's really interesting and gives some practical things to try.
I hope it can be of help
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