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Daughter fear of intimacy

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Daughter fear of intimacy

I'm worried my 17 year old daughter has a fear of intimacy. She is having her second relationship. The first she only ever held hands. Same with this one. Not that I want her to be sexually active but she says she doesn't like public shows of emotion and I'm like that maybe I've stunted her emotional growth?? I just want her to be able to find a loving relationship one day. Am i worrying for nothing?
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Re: Daughter fear of intimacy

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Hi @Franny , 


From what you say, I think your daughter sounds really normal - teenagers range massively in terms of their development of romantic relationships, how they decide to express themselves physically, and in how they choose to express their sexuality. It's a time where a lot of teenagers are still working out who they are, who they're attracted to, and what they want from a romantic relationship.


Some teenagers are very demonstrative and affectionate, and some aren't. I think temperament can also play a role, I know from my experience as a parent one of my kids has always been much more physically affectionate than the other Smiley Happy  It sounds like your daughter is moving at a pace that feels comfortable for her, and in a time where teenagers often seem to be pressured to be more sexualised in their appearance and how they act in relationships, I think that's a really admirable thing. It sounds like she has a clear idea of her own boundaries and what feels right for her Smiley Happy 


This article from Raising Children's Network has some good information based on research about teenagers and relationships, there's a huge variety in what a 'normal' relationship looks like. 


Do you worry about her emotional well-being in other ways? You sound like a super caring and concerned mum, and I think it's almost impossible as a parent to stop worrying about our kids.