Defiant, rude & disrespectful 15 year old daughter

[taokat]

It's such a difficult age to navigate isn't it @157-1, @seekwisdom and @Mammatofour. It can seem like our beautiful children have been taken hostage by the teenage brain and can be very tough for us as parents to ride these years out. 

I do believe they're still in there too @Mammatofour, and after years of my daughter disappearing I do see glimpses of her gorgeous self, only it's even more exciting as she's maturing - seeing flashes into her future self is pretty special. 

We've have seen, and sometimes still do, aggression, rudeness, disrespect etc, but it is calming down as she's getting older and getting better at managing her emotions. 

If any of you would like to start a new topic we welcome you to do so on the page here. Starting a new topic gives you a better chance of being seen by more members and gaining more support 

Hang in there, you're not alone!

[Aspen]

Hi,

We have very much the same issue with our 15 years old daughter i wanted to get some ideas and started to search around..then I found your post...OMG I could not believe it was somebody else written all of this,I thought that I wrote it sometimes ago and forgot about it..our situation is so similar to yours.

My husband and I feel so sad and devastated most of the times,it is like we are traped and can not move anywhere ..

Our daughter is also very headstrong same as you described yours and she was never easy to deal with,but now.. with puberty,hormones and peer pressure It all escalated so much more and in a worse sense too.

i see you posted this last year,and hopefully things are better with you and your daughter,please let me know if you get this,what did you do to resolve the whole issue?

We are going crazy here

[Breez-RO]

@Aspen Hey I am glad it helped you to connect with someone who has experienced similar, I am sorry to hear about the pain you and your husband are experiencing in this.

I would definitely recommend starting a thread here if you need further support, then the community can provide you some in depth experience around what you're going through. Looking forward to hearing from you.  

[HopefulMom]

I have used these same negative words to describe my teen. And I renounce and reject them now. My daughter and I had the absolute worst fight we have ever had a few days ago. It was so bad she is at our family friend's house til things cool down. Part of me is still so angry with her. But the other part of me is so sad for her. I want to go pick her up today, but want to be prepared for any negative behavior prior to. I need help. I feel that I have completely failed as a parent. I feel totally out of control as my child hit me and I hit her back. I couldn't believe that she put her hands on me. Her attitude has been extremely difficult for the last year and I am at a place right now as to not knowing the appropriate decisions to make to repair our home.

[Sally-RO]

Hey there @HopefulMom, I'm sorry to hear that it's been so turbulent between your daughter and yourself. It's great that you have been able to have a cool down period, for both your anger and hers. It definitely sounds like you want to be moving towards (and back too?) a peaceful relationship between the two of you. That is hard to do when emotions are running high and this may take more than a simple conversation. It sounds like some boundaries have been crossed on both of your behalf's. 

I'm wondering if you would want to talk to a counsellor over the phone, possibly Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) or even something specific to your concerns at Parentline. There are different numbers for each state so I have found this link if you want to find your state and call through   

[Chell47]

I have the same problem my daughter has in the last few weeks changed it is so upsetting I feel so alone and don't know what to do I don't like to tell her dad or family members to much I dont want them thinking bad of her 😫😫

[Taylor-RO]

Hey @Chell47, that really is a difficult situation to be in especially when someone is not acting like themselves. Have you found any of the advice in this thread helpful? Just remember it is important to keep an eye on yourself, you are important too! Do you think it might be worth having a conversation with her dad/family members although it might change their view of her? There is no reason why you should have to shoulder it all alone.

[Chell47]

Hi yes I have found reading all the other comments very useful it's actually a relief to know it not just my child and I think maybe I'll take sone of the advice to back off and try to ignore rather than constantly question her she hasnt got into any trouble so thsts good it's just her attitude towards me really I have now spoke to my husband after reading the comments we know it's not anything we have done it's probably alot to do with her age I will try to relax a bit and not stress to much I remember my friends being my whole world st her age so if I back off maybe she will see im not out to stop her seeing her friends but thst we just want her to be happy and be respectful to us thank you to everyone who comments I really do feel so much better 😉

[Sally-RO]

It's great you have been able to use the forum as a resource, lean on your husband for support and see your daughter's world from a teenagers perspective @Chell47. Have you had any conversations with any professionals?

[taokat]

Reading your second post @Chell47 I could feel the pressure had lifted for you! I'm so glad you've found helpful info in the forum as well, and now feel able to share with your husband. That must've been a big burden to be carrying on your own.

Finding out we're not alone in what we're going through with our teens, and being able to talk with other parents who understand does something really positive for us