02-02-2018 05:39 AM
02-02-2018 08:00 PM
Thank you so much @Moloko, that's lovely of you to say, and I'll definitely keep you posted! I'm so glad my daughter's excited too, and hope that will continue to be the motivator, over the fear.
Listening should be a known super power! It really makes the world of difference we can just listen. My daughter has said to me that it helps her get things off her chest and often she can then sort it out for herself. It shows her that I trust her ability to do that as well, while she knows I'm always here if she needs me.
It's so lovely that your daughter has such amazing friends, and the 2 week check in sounds like a great move. Fingers crossed that she settles in and makes friends in her class quickly, but one day at a time.
Yes, please keep us updated! All the best until then.
02-15-2018 05:52 PM
02-16-2018 01:31 AM
Oh @Moloko, I'm so sorry to hear the situation with the girls has come back up again. She must still be really upset over it. It's great that you can see your daughter needs help processing it, but I know how exhausting it can be being stuck in the middle so to speak.
My daughter refused help for many years too. After numerous failed tactics I realised that it had to be her choice to go. So I really brought it down to that. I asked her if she had the choice between being happy or being angry, what would she choose? She chose happy. I explained that the counsellor had skills and knowledge that I didn't have, and that the counsellor is for her and they don't judge, they teach you ways to cope and manage all she was feeling. So she had the choice to get help, or to be angry - both being a choice. She didn't come around first time, but calmly and lovingly reminding her of her choices did get through and now she asks to see her counsellor if she needs a sooner appointment.
I really hear how emotionally exhausted you are and I'm glad you've come back to the forum for support. Are you able to get any time to look after you? You're very important in this equation and self care is so important to be able to keep going. You're such a loving and giving mum - give some of that to you too.
02-16-2018 08:54 PM
Hi @Moloko My daughter was so nasty and vicious to her friends and other kids from school (and me) when she was really sick. I honestly could not believe what was happening and it was so difficult to watch. Her behaviour was so unacceptable, and the worst thing was that this was not how she normally behaves and so out of character. When she started getting better, she apologised to her friends and thankfully friendships slowly mended. Hopefully, when your daughter starts to feel better her friendships will improve.
Wise words @taokat You can provide someone with all the right professional help and resources, but there has to be a choice made to accept the help.
02-16-2018 09:04 PM
02-16-2018 09:36 PM
You seem to be such a loving, caring and very self-aware parent who loves their daughter a great deal. It must be difficult for you to see all these changes happening not knowing if they are "normal" or something else (?). From your posts you seem to be doing all the correct things.
Regarding the yelling......you and your husband are very wise to practice calmness. Meditation or mindfulness can help you with this. Yelling and arguing can really effect kids. I know because my own parents used to fight a lot and unfortunanty so did my husband and self (we are now divorced). None of us can go back and guilt is a negative emotion so moving forward........stop yourself from yelling! You seem to have the insight to do this and thats wonderful.
With the technology...come to a compromise and set limits. Just be consistent. Its a tough one but you can do it!
You are doing an AMAZING job......do something special for YOU so this all doesn't become too overwhelming for you.
02-17-2018 05:26 AM - edited 02-17-2018 05:36 AM
02-17-2018 05:27 AM - edited 02-17-2018 04:59 PM