08-21-2017 12:35 PM
08-21-2017 01:22 PM
Happy to @Moloko I'll let you know what I come up with.
That question is such an easy one to fall into, isn't it? I remember so clearly, standing in the queue at a store and the mother and teenaged daughter in front of me were hugging and laughing. It killed me. At the time I was locked in this difficult place with my teenaged daughter and she was either angry or dismissive. It felt like it had been forever since we'd just hugged and laughed. My first thought was "what am I doing wrong?"
But then I had to remind myself I wasn't seeing the whole picture. When we compare ourselves to others we basically compare our insides to their outsides. We compare everything we know about our situation to the 5 seconds we see of theirs. Who knows what the truth of their relationship is.
And I also had to remember that everything changes. I'd had really hard times with my eldest daughter but we had found our way through. If I keep trying, and talking to people and getting support and loving my daughter, then we would get through this together.
And we did! And you guys will too.
08-21-2017 01:54 PM
08-21-2017 02:45 PM
I used to compare so much too, I still do but to a lesser degree these days. Its so unhelpful! And makes us way harder on ourselves than we already are.
@Moloko Those consequences of no phone for 3 hrs, earning it back, and not getting it Fri and Sat of Sunday is going to be like that again - are really logical and practical. Great job! I struggle sometimes with working out logical consquences that they can understand and respect even while hating them!
08-21-2017 02:54 PM
08-31-2017 01:29 PM - edited 08-31-2017 01:39 PM
08-31-2017 05:04 PM
That's wonderful news @Moloko Please take a moment to acknowledge both yourself and your daughter for getting through such a tough time.
And when you feel a bit human again, it's a great time to look around for some good books or courses to do that will help you feel prepared for anything that comes up.
It can be exhausting to live in fear that things might get hard again, where as if you do some thing to feel fortified, then you know you'll cope with anything that comes.
What do you think?
09-01-2017 04:21 PM - edited 09-01-2017 04:22 PM
09-02-2017 03:32 PM
The changes that occur when kids enter pre-adolescence and adolescence are the hardest for most families to deal with. Make her feel that you are there for her help and she is not alone. It's really important.
09-02-2017 03:40 PM
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