Help

[Latoya1977]

I am very concerned about my 14 year old daughter because for the last 2 years and seems to be getting worse. She started with sneaking out to actually having sex. I have taken her smart phone and replaced it with a flip phone. She is withdrawn and isn't connected to anything. I have signed up for volley ball and a church group but nothing seems to be working 

[Latoya1977 · Accepted solution]

Thanks for the advice. I know from learning she had sex she is not allowed to communicate with her cousins. My brother is a total Jerk. She does have the flip phone but social media is out for her because she was very inappropriate. She saw a therapist last week that is going to have her tested because she feels she has a disconnect. Her siblings are out the house they are grown so its me and her and its a nightmare. I even took her to myrtle beach last week to relax she seemed to enjoy that somewhat but the moods are driving me crazy. I did speak with her about safe sex and had her put on birth control last month when I found out. Its a nightmare i will look into help for myself

[Philippa-RO · Accepted solution]

That sounds like such a tough situation @Latoya1977 - I can hear how much you care about your daughter and how worried you must be about her. 

I think it's really positive that she's seen a therapist who is going to do some further testing - did your daughter respond well to the therapist? Do you think she'll keep going to therapy?

Thinking of you and hoping things start to improve.

We're here any time you need to talk. 

[Iona-RO]

Hi @Latoya1977 

Thank you for reaching out. It's great to see that you care about your daughter and have tried different ways to get her engaged in her community.

I'm wondering if you have been able to have a chat to her about safe sex and consent at all? I understand that it would be preferable that your daughter wasn't sneaking out to have sex, but think it's important that if this is happening that she is at least doing so in the safest way possible. We have some really great articles here that you might find helpful when navigating this.

You've mentioned that she's feeling withdrawn and disconnected, is there anything that's happened that is making her feel like this? Does she have ways to connect with her friends when she doesn't have access to her smart phone?

This must be stressful for you also, do you have any support networks that you can talk to when you're feeling worried?

[Latoya1977 · Accepted solution]

Thanks for the advice. I know from learning she had sex she is not allowed to communicate with her cousins. My brother is a total Jerk. She does have the flip phone but social media is out for her because she was very inappropriate. She saw a therapist last week that is going to have her tested because she feels she has a disconnect. Her siblings are out the house they are grown so its me and her and its a nightmare. I even took her to myrtle beach last week to relax she seemed to enjoy that somewhat but the moods are driving me crazy. I did speak with her about safe sex and had her put on birth control last month when I found out. Its a nightmare i will look into help for myself

[Philippa-RO · Accepted solution]

That sounds like such a tough situation @Latoya1977 - I can hear how much you care about your daughter and how worried you must be about her. 

I think it's really positive that she's seen a therapist who is going to do some further testing - did your daughter respond well to the therapist? Do you think she'll keep going to therapy?

Thinking of you and hoping things start to improve.

We're here any time you need to talk. 

[Malla]

It sounds like my story too.. my daughter 14 next month, has been recently diagnosed with ADHD, ASD and ODD.
It's a nightmare but I'm trying my best, and I am considering medications although I usually go natural.

Snapchat, Tik Tok, Instagram, Sendit, and more, they are addictive and they brainwash.
My daughter had her phone taken away for 6 months for posting inappropriate photos. She is on a trial now..not going great so far.
Due to the Queen's mourning there are no activities for 2 weeks, but usually sport is what she likes, among the healthy options.
The more healthy activities she can do, the better is ..

[Dem--RO]

Hi @Malla and welcome to the Parents Forum.

This sounds like an incredibly difficult situation that you are in with your teen. I'm so very sorry that you are having to deal with this and the potential consequences of the trial. I can only imagine that you are incredibly stressed and upset by the whole situation.

Do you have any support systems in place to help you through this? Have you been able to find some professional support for your daughter?

I see that you're based in the UK, so thought I'd pass along the contact info for SANE UK, as well as Parents Helpline, as they are able to provide non-judgmental support over the phone if you feel that you would like to talk to someone.