How best to parent a teenager that uses cannabis daily.

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Active scribe

Re: How best to parent a teenager that uses cannabis daily.

Hi mamamico 

We are having the same issue as you are .. breaking my heart . So young to be obsessed with weed . 

‘Just don’t know the approach, how far to intervene . Is it a phase ? 

Casual scribe

Re: How best to parent a teenager that uses cannabis daily.

Hi Bestapproach,

I am so sorry to hear this. It really is heartbreaking, isn’t it? We seem to be in a bit of a lull (as in I haven’t discovered anything new lately) but I am not so dumb as to think that my son has stopped smoking altogether. I just hope it is on a more occasional use. I hope it is a phase and I hope that it is just purely experimental. It doesn’t help that all his friends are doing it, tho’! I am trying not to intervene too much...it seems that the more I push, the more he just gets defensive and pulls away. Just keeping my eyes open for now (looking through his room occasionally and, yes, I still check his photos).

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Scribe

Re: How best to parent a teenager that uses cannabis daily.

Thank you for your response!!!!  

 

I have a 16 year old.  Started smoking at 14 and has definitely increased his usage.  He has a history of anxiety and racing thoughts.  He also has a very low self esteem, that he plays off well to those around him.  I have tried counseling for him and he is not invested and refuses.  Counselors won't see him past the 3rd session because it is not beneficial if he is not engaging.  He tells me pot is the one thing that calms his mind.  So I do know part of why he uses.  I DO NOT condone it.  I also know I can't "punish him" our of using.  So tired of hearing that from people and seeing it on the internet as a method to use.  DOES NOT work!.  I have tried everything.  Even set boundaries around him using.  Trying to see if I can at least get it regulated before it spirals out of control and other things start into the mix, alcohol already has.

My biggest fear is his father is an addict and an alcoholic.  Hoped me taking the kids and leaving when they were little could have helped them to not fall into the cycle.  My ex's entire family struggles with addiction or has dies from overdose, suicide or liver failure due to alcohol use.  I am terrified for my son.  Honestly don't know what to do.  Can't talk to anyone in my family about it because they go into "judgmental" zone.  They do not get trauma and they do not get addiction.  A lot of them treat him like he is a bad kid or have stopped talking to him all together.  Not helpful, just pushes him further into his low self esteem and depression and increases the drug use.  

Sorry this went on and on.  Feeling like a horrible mother and like I am losing my child.  

Mod

Re: How best to parent a teenager that uses cannabis daily.

Hi @Tdouble, welcome to Reachout and thanks for sharing your experience. We are so glad that you have found this thread helpful and relevant. That being said, I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing a lot of pain and difficulty in your journey with your son. You mentioned feeling like a horrible mother.. although from your post, I can tell that you are trying your best to understand, empathise and refrain from judging your son. I think that these qualities really give children a safe base to work from in a lot of situations Heart This is something you should be so proud of as it sounds like a lot of other people judge and criticise your son. It looks like you are an international user which is okay but please be mindful that our resources are Australian based and so may not be relevant to you. We have a lovely and supportive community of parents here which I am sure will provide some support and insight soon Smiley Happy I wonder if you knew why your son is not invested in and refusing counselling from his perspective? Is there anything he has said about it? Reaching out for help can be so challenging, especially as a young person. It really sounds like you are trying your best to support your son through this. 

Casual scribe

Re: How best to parent a teenager that uses cannabis daily.

To the moderators of this site:
I really don't understand how this is discussion board is helpful? I reached out TWO years ago, desperate for any kind of advice or help. My son is now 17, and uses pot on a daily basis (multiple times a day) and since, we have found out he suffers from depression. I received no advice or even any sort of response directed to me (from other users, yes, and I am very grateful to them) One of my posts I see was written at 4 in the morning and I can hazard a guess that I am sure I wasn’t awake at that time of the night for fun.
Mod

Re: How best to parent a teenager that uses cannabis daily.

Hi @Mamamico 

 

We're sorry to hear that you found your experience with our Support Service unhelpful. 

 

We understand how no acknowledgement from staff may have left you feeling unheard. We can assure you this was not our intention. Unfortunately, our forums are not monitored 24-7, and are also not meant for one-on-one support. The forums are actually designed for peer support. In other words, they are designed for parents to connect with other parents. These details about our service are outlined in our community guidelines, which can be found here. The moderator's role is to ensure that the forum is a safe space for everyone, in other words, to ensure that all posts are in line with our community guidelines. We do offer support to some users where we can, but there are times where we may not respond to users, especially if they have received support from the community already. 

 

We can see a lack of response from the moderators has upset you and truly do we hope that this response clarifies some of your concerns. If you are unsatisfied with this response, then you are welcome to make a formal complaint but emailing us at hello@reachout.com. 

 

Lastly, we're very saddened to hear about what your son, and yourself, are going through. As a parent, it must be difficult to see your son suffering. You said you found out that he suffers from depression? Does that mean he is engaging with a counselor/psychologist? If so, that's really great. I'm guessing this is a lot for you to handle and it's important that in addition to looking after your son, you look after yourself. I noticed you're an international user. Since we are an Australian based service, our knowledge of international services is somewhat limited. In Australia we have a helpline for parents - it's named Parentline. It might be worth googling if there's something similar in your country. I did a quick google search and came across this service, which might be worth looking into. 

 

We also have this thread here for international users - it contains a list of services for a range of countries, including Canada. This thread is targeted towards youth, so not all of them may be helpful, but they might be worth look into, and possibly even passing on to your son.

 

Again, we're sorry you felt disappointed in our service. We hope things do get better for you and your son.