04-01-2018 11:08 AM
was wondering if anyone else struggles with lack of family support around holidays like Easter, Birthdays and so on.
Is just my daughter and myself and I find it hard, everyone out with their families.
Any ideas or thoughts?
We do stuff together its not like we are house bound but it just upsets me and I find it hard to keep a brave face.
04-01-2018 11:39 AM
You are not alone.
I think a lot of us can struggle over Easter and special occasions.
At least your daughter is willing to do things with you. My son is currently isolating in his room so I need to do things alone and if I go out its only briefly as I still need to check on him. He is 15.
Could you and your daughter do some volunteer work together? Maybe visit some people in an aged care facility or something along those lines? What about neighbours? Don't be put off by not asking them around because they could feel just as you do. Maybe organise a picnic with some people you know (?) Do you have any other family at all? Possibly you could try and organise something for another occasion.
Some people also have no one and are disabled in some way or unable to get out of the house.
I understand where you are coming from though. I feel like this at times too however I know there are other people feeling the same way right at this moment........out of the billions of people in the world, there will be many going through difficulties such as ours too.
I find this way of thinking helps.
04-01-2018 03:14 PM
Hi @Mumof19yrold, welcome to the forum!
When we're alone, celebratory times do feel very lonely. It's just myself and my daughter too, and we only have a small extended family of 3 as my only sibling doesn't have any family of his own. I would love the big family celebrations so many of those around me have, but life hasn't worked out that way unfortunately.
It's lovely that you and your daughter do things together, and that's something positive! I'm like @Sister, my daughter isolates in her room, and as close as we are in a lot of ways, she'd prefer to hang in her room than do anything with me, and she rarely sees the grandparents and uncle she does have. I'll go and have lunch with the family tomorrow but no big celebrations I imagine other families are having. There's tension between my parents at the moment so I'm not looking forward to it!
I love @Sister's ideas of volunteering or doing something like that. We volunteered one Christmas because my daughter wouldn't celebrate with us, and I didn't want to celebrate without her. It's very fulfilling and really lifts the spirits. It also helps others without family feel less alone at these times. Does that sound like something you and your daughter might be interested in?
04-01-2018 06:56 PM
Hey @Mumof19yrold welcome to RO! The other members are spot on, this definitely isn't an isolated issue. Many families struggle this time of year. I definitely would second doing something like volunteering, or treating the two of you to something awesome. Movies, road trip, lunch etc. Getting out of your regular environment and trying something new could be quite lovely for both of you. How are you feeling at the moment?
04-02-2018 09:06 AM
04-02-2018 09:12 AM
04-02-2018 09:20 AM
04-02-2018 01:52 PM
I'm sorry to hear you and your daughter had a difficult time last night @Mumof19yrold but I'm glad the helpline and RO has been able to help you both. It really does sound like you're doing everything you can. Just remember that while you support your daughter try to also support yourself, whether that's seeing a counsellor or psychologist yourself, talking to helplines or engaging in some self-care
04-02-2018 04:28 PM
04-03-2018 07:51 PM
Hey @Mumof19yrold, that's great to hear you have counselling for your daughter up and running again.
My daughter has the same traits as yours in that if she's not out and about (which isn't often), she stays in her room in her pj's, doesn't shower either.
As much as we love our kids, it can be frustrating being with them all the time - I think it's the same with any 2 people - friends, partners, etc. It's a different head space when they're always home and I crave my daughter's tafe days, so I completely get that you sometimes argue with her home so much.
Volunteer work can be so rewarding! Let us know how you go