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Leaving “grown” kids behind 22 and 18

Discussion forum for parents in Australia

Leaving “grown” kids behind 22 and 18

Casual scribe

Leaving “grown” kids behind 22 and 18

Hi, 5 years ago my husband and I made the decision to move to the USA ( his home ) once my youngest child from my first marriage finished high school and went away to uni. Naturally I was torn about leaving them but told myself I needed/deserved and adventure and ignored all of my misgivings. My husband promised that if it got too hard being away from them we would come back. We left them in March . I had to come back to Australia in May because my visa hadn’t been granted yet ... and now I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to leave them again. I don’t want to be so far away. My husband and our 7 yo son are still in the US. Initially he was ok when I told him I wanted to come home ... and now he’s not. He is still willing to come , but He is not at all happy about it. He tells me my big kids don’t need me here ... and it’s not that ... it’s me . I hate myself for ever leaving them
In the first place. Am I wrong in wanting to be near them ? I am so confused

Parent/Carer Community Champion

Re: Leaving “grown” kids behind 22 and 18

Hey @Mrs_DeveroD ,


Oh what a dilemma, I really feel for you!!!


I'm not sure if anyone can really give you the "correct" answer.


One thing that did stand out for me was when you said "our 7 yo son are still in the US". I guess, my focus would be on what is best for him?


Whats the biggest thing worrying you about staying back in Australia? 

Star contributor

Re: Leaving “grown” kids behind 22 and 18

Hi @Mrs_DeveroD,


Such a tough position you are in with children on both sides of the world Heart A heartbreaking situation leaving any of them behind.


It sounds like a huge decision ahead of you, do you have a support network around you to help with this decision? You child still in the US, what is his experience like there? 


We would love to hear how you are going and see if we can offer more support Heart We are thinking of you through this difficult decision


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