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Lonely, Depressed 13 year old son

Lonely, Depressed 13 year old son

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seabear
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Lonely, Depressed 13 year old son

Hi There, I have a daughter who is 12 and a son who is 13. He has high functioning Autism and seems to  do ok whilst at school. But on weekends and school holidays he is constantly in his bedroom on his phone or video games. He said to me this evening that he doesn't understand why his friends never invite him to places to do things. You can tell he is trying to be strong but he's struggling. He already has a broken relationship with his father and I feel so much pressure to fix this and I don't know what to do. I get so anxious and stressed that I can't make these so called friends ask him to do things. Has anyone had the same issues and found something that helps? Would love some advice 


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Taylor-RO
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Re: Lonely, Depressed 13 year old son

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Hi @seabear, thank you so much for sharing your experience. It sounds like this has been a struggle for both you and your son. Understandably, feeling alone, isolated and as though you are being left out is a really horrible feeling. It seems like this has really hit you hard as a parent as you want to be able to remedy the situation but are feeling stuck Heart I am wondering if your son has tried to invite some of these kids to engage in activities? Are other kids being invited though your son is being excluded?

 

If you are looking for some support for yourself, there a service called ParentLine which offers telephone counselling. It also has a number of referrals and resources that may be helpful for you. We also offer a free professional service that provides one on one support. You can check your eligibility here. Smiley Happy

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Taylor-RO
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Re: Lonely, Depressed 13 year old son

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Hi @seabear, thank you so much for sharing your experience. It sounds like this has been a struggle for both you and your son. Understandably, feeling alone, isolated and as though you are being left out is a really horrible feeling. It seems like this has really hit you hard as a parent as you want to be able to remedy the situation but are feeling stuck Heart I am wondering if your son has tried to invite some of these kids to engage in activities? Are other kids being invited though your son is being excluded?

 

If you are looking for some support for yourself, there a service called ParentLine which offers telephone counselling. It also has a number of referrals and resources that may be helpful for you. We also offer a free professional service that provides one on one support. You can check your eligibility here. Smiley Happy

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LuckyGirl2000

Re: Lonely, Depressed 13 year old son

HI there - my son just turned 19, and if I could turn back the clock to his being 13 I would. Our son is also very high functioning on the spectrum (although he makes eye contact perfectly and acts normal around adults... he is not "normal" with his peers. He is very bright - did extremely well in school but started spending all his time around his freshman year of high school at home on weekends and in his room. We thought he was studying but we just found out a year ago he  his "friend" group had left him out of a group text and started going out without him when he was about 15. And these kids were the geekiest kids at school. He put on a brave face throughout high school but his confidence was dropping. My husband told me I was worrying for nothing. But when he came home from university due to Covid, we discovered he was clinically depressed and he has since told a therapist he was suicidal while he was at college. All of this stemmed from bullying that he never told us about. We just thought he was a quiet brainiac kid. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. Don't let your son fall into a long-term depression. Do whatever you can to work with the school to get him socialized, no matter what it takes. My son is showing some progress now with medication but it's a long road ahead and I wish I had done more while he was suffering in high school (unbeknownst to us.)

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Hannah-RO

Re: Lonely, Depressed 13 year old son

Hey there @LuckyGirl2000 , 

Thanks for sharing your experience and your suggestions around socialisation, working with your childs school, and trusting your instincts. It sounds like you and your son have found supports through therapy and medication that work for him, and while as you say it is a long road ahead, it's amazing you've been able to work together towards his wellbeing and share your insights with others Smiley Happy

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