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Losing my son...

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Losing my son...

My son is 20 years old and basically seems to have given up on life. He sits in front of the TV or plays video games late into the evening. He got himself a job (which I am not sure he still has as he consistently attended late or not at all), but still does not have a license. He won't let me help him in any way with driving lessons or getting him counselling. He did manage to get a voucher from Ryde for lessons, however, he shows no interest in redeeming it. He lost his mother to breast cancer when he was 9 and has never openly expressed his feelings about this. He has been to many counsellors, psychologists and psychiatrists that all tell me there is nothing wrong with him, however, he is highly intelligent and knows what to tell them to make them think that.  He exhibits many strange behaviours such as putting t.p. down on the toilet seat, washing his hands several times during the day. He has showers that can be in excess of an hour. He won't let me walk his dog or feed her.  He shows little affection towards me although he does acknowledge an "I love you" from me. He won't eat any food that I prepare and is very thin.


He has a sister who is fine, although she too has been deeply affected by the loss of her mother. She has goals for her future and is pursuing them in a positive manner.


I feel very inadequate and unable to help him. It causes me great of worry about his future. Sometimes his actions affect my quality of life.  I would like to know if there is some support for me out there.  It would be great if there was an organisation who could send someone out to chat with him.  J

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Re: Losing my son...

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Hi @stranger401,


Sorry to hear about what is happening with your son. This must be so difficult for you watch and I can only imagine what you are going through. It sounds like you have tried a lot to find support for your son and it can be very challenging to get a service in place for him if he refuses to go. In this case looking for an outreach program may be a good option for him.


There is a program that offers outreach services and it's called Pathways to Counselling and Family Services which is offered through Baptist Care. Here is the link Maybe you could have a discussion with them about their service. 


Beyond Blue is also offering phone or online sessions through their New Access program, if you think he will be enticed to do that. Here is the link:


Have you also spoken to your GP and asked if they are aware of any organization that will offer outreach services? They may know of a community health centre that might be able to provide this in your area.


Hopefully, you are able to get the appropriate supports for you son, so that he can live a vibrant and fulfilling life.