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Lost 15 year old

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Mlissaann12

Lost 15 year old

So , it’s been 5 days now and my son has been “on the run”.

The police are no help. I have rang several times, I have went to the police station and no one is doing much.

I then located my son a day ago and drove to the house ge was staying at. After being lied to repeatedly and laughed at by the girl who lives at the house, son eventually came outside. I demanded he get in the car and after he told me he would go get his things, he jumped the fence out the back, and ran again. I called police and they care also, but he was gone.

My husband tried a softer approach the day before and I knew that was never going to help. I wanted my son to see my pain, I wanted him to see all my vulnerability in from of these peers, that I was not scared to show my pain. I thought that would help him chose the right decision. I did not, it got worse..

Yesterday, my son and a group of girls assulted his ex gf and her dad. The girlfriend was kicked in the head etc, and my son assaulted and hit her dad..

I am a complete mess at this stage , I have made complaints to the police for not doing enough, I have called crisis line after crisis line, I have called his psychiatrist and his psychologist, I have previously taken him to hospital for help and NO ONE is helping ! I keep telling everyone that the trajectory of my sons patterns are going down hill fast, and no one cares!

What is a mother supposed to do? I can’t go on this way, it hurts to much. My son needs help, he can’t go on this way or something even worse is going to happen to him or god forbid someone else!!!!

Please help ...
Community Manager
Bre-RO

Re: Lost 15 year old

Hi @Mlissaann12 I am so, so sorry to read about what you and your family are going through. I can't imagine how much pain and suffering you are going through right now. Feel free to open up, rant and share everything you are feeling right now. 

 

As for your son, it sounds like you have taken all of the step needed but I can understand how frustrating it is when nothing seems to be moving forward. Let us know if there is something we can do to make you feel more supported through this process. 

 

There are lots of other parents here who have been through similar times with their teen, so I am hoping you receive some messages of support and tips on how to approach this as well. 

Active scribe
Mlissaann12

Re: Lost 15 year old

Thank you. Means a lot.

I do feel incredibly alone in this, and am triggered by seeing teenagers out and about behaving. Makes me so upset and wondering what I’ve done so wrong.

We are a loving family, with the odd marital issues but we’ve been a family for 16 years, and still together. There is no abuse, no drugs, and as I see it all of this anger comes from the kids who bullied my son. He is hurting and angry and this is is way to show he’s tough, through his pain.

Breaks my heart, and I will fight to my core to help save him.

It’s just so painful
Mod
Taylor-RO

Re: Lost 15 year old

Hi @Mlissaann12, I have had a read through your thread and I can't imagine how difficult it must be to see your son behave out of character like that. It must feel so heart breaking to see other teenagers behaving leading you to question or blame yourself for what has happened. There are a lot of underlying reasons as to why teenagers act out. As you mentioned, this may be a way for your son to express his anger and hurt about being bullied. What really counts is your loving and committed approach to help your son through whatever he is going through. That is really special Heart
Active scribe
Mlissaann12

Re: Lost 15 year old

Thank you for that.

I love my boy. My first boy. I have such a strong connection to him that this pain is crutching.

I KNOW it’s comes from the bullying, the lack of peer relationships and the ones he’s had and the betrayal that has come from those.

Peers are so important to our kids and they have all let him down. He so angry and hurt which is why he’s chosen a “different” peer group. A very NOT good one.

My heart is utterly broken. But I am still fighting daily to save him.

Maybe I just can’t and that will kill me.... 💔
Community Manager
Bre-RO

Re: Lost 15 year old

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@Mlissaann12 the love you have for your boy comes through so strongly in your words. It is so hard watching the people we love try to find acceptance in peer groups that aren't good for them. It sounds like you have the kind of relationship with your son, that when he is ready to talk to you about what is happening, he will feel safe to talk to you. That is a credit to your parenting and love. 

 

In terms of getting some more support for you, we found this service that could be helpful for your family right now. Let us know how you go with it. 

 

Do you have anyone supporting you at the moment? A friend or even a counselor? 

 

Sending you lots of strength to get this through this hard time Heart 

Active scribe
Mlissaann12

Re: Lost 15 year old

Thank you.

I believe that service is for aboriginal families who are in need of support. But I appreciate your offer of help.

I do not have a counselor at the moment but I believe I will get one at some stage. I have some friend support. However, I appreciate that there is really only so much someone can do.

😪🙏🏽. Thank you
Community Manager
Bre-RO

Re: Lost 15 year old

Glad to hear you have some support from friends @Mlissaann12 also, hope you can find a counselor if that is something you think would help. 

 

Also, I've double checked and that service is a government funded program for all families that are having a hard time Smiley Happy