Moody & aggressive 13yo boy

[Crazymum5472]

My 13yo son has become very moody as of late.
At the start of the year we moved states and he started high school. Within a week he had made a few friends & a girl friend.
Eight months later and he still has a girl friend BUT they always fight . When they fight it’s usually a jealousy issue ( she of he and vice-versa).( We have spoken with him about relationships, respectful conversation, maintaining friendships outside of his relationship etc...)
When he fights with his girlfriend it is usually done over text messages. The problem is when he fights with his girlfriend he becomes angry and he takes it out on me (Mum) . When he is disrespectful it results in a consequence (we have clear outlines about actions & consequences ) and when he has his phone taken away he becomes aggressive. Today after he came home from school he became really rude, refused to give his phone back and became aggressive. When I picked his phone up and put it in my pocket. He lunged at my pocket to take his phone back, refused to move out of my way when I wanted to leave his room & started swearing. I ended up pushing past him but he followed me still trying to get his phone back and being rude. Usually when this happens the only way these interactions ends is when I get really upset and start to cry or he grabs at me and I push him away.
I’m worried that these arguments are escalating and may result in one of us becoming too upset and doing something that will harm the other.
I’m finding that these ‘moments’ only happen during/after he has had a fight with his girl friend. For the most part he is usually well mannered and respectful. His grades at school are still great and he interacts nicely with his younger sister. It’s just that this relationship with his girlfriend is ‘all consuming’ for him. His moods are dependant on how his interactions are with his girl friend.

[Hannah-RO]

Hey @Crazymum5472 

This situation must be really tough on you. It must be so stressful and draining to have to feel like you have to be so mindful of how your son and his girlfriend are going because of how he responds. We've got an article here on anger which you might find useful, its got a link on it to "Things to Try" as well which might have some tips for you. 

Its really great you've had conversations with your son about relationships and friendships, it can be so valuable to have those open dialogues with teens. How does he go with having these conversations with you? Could you maybe extend those conversations to include respectful relationships within the family? 

I'm wondering as well if you have spoken to him about how these interactions make you feel? Would you feel comfortable letting him know that you feel tense/stressed/upset/however it is your feeling, and that its not fair for him to take his frustrations out on you? 

I can imagine this must be a really intense time for you as a parent and want to let you know that Parentline is available if you want some one-on-one phone counselling support where you can speak about what you're going through and how you're feeling. Let us know how you're getting on