05-06-2022 02:49 PM - last edited on 05-10-2022 03:50 PM by Philippa-RO
Hi My 16 yo Niece is self-harming the parent are going thought a hard time right now and on the verge of separating. Unfortunately the self harm has being going on for a while it started a while back when the taxi she usually travel with the driver had been touching her for some time she was 12-13 yo at that time. We ask if there was any penetration she said no but she lock up any time the incident comes up or ask about her self harm. She don’t express her self and never speaks about how she is feeling. She is currently writing exams atm and I found she was spending too much time on social media I put limits on it didn’t work I decided to talk her phone And that when she broke down saying social media is the only thing that’s keeps her sane and she still was harming herself …. We took her to some Counselors and she didn’t say anything she claimed up . I don’t know what can be done again and fear that one day it will be bad
05-06-2022 09:38 PM
Hi @Tomson and welcome to our online community!
I'm sorry to hear that your niece has been self-harming, I can only imagine how heartbreaking that must be for you. You mentioned that she had been taken to see a counsellor, I was just wondering how many times she saw them? Sometimes it can take a few sessions to feel comfortable talking with and opening up to someone like a counsellor. As self-harm is a way of coping with or strong emotions, I am wondering if there might be someone else your niece might feel comfortable talking to. Is she receiving any other support from a health professional at this time?
With such a stressful situation, I was wondering if you receive any support from a health professional for yourself? What kind of things do you do to take care of yourself?
If you are interested at all, it might be worth having a look at resources like The Raising Children's Network. While it is an Australian website, it does have a lot of helpful information on self-harming and what you can do to help. I have also had to make a couple of edits to your post to ensure it stays within our community guidelines.
Please also remember that you're not alone and we're always here to support you.
05-06-2022 10:18 PM
05-07-2022 03:12 PM
Thanks for sharing. That is such a shame that your niece has stopped counselling. It can be common for adolescents to not voice their thoughts or concerns, especially when trauma has occurred. It can be difficult for them to open up but it is still important for them to know that support is available from people that they trust. We have some information on sexual assault here which might help explain what your niece is going through.
It sounds like you are doing an amazing job by keeping an eye on her. It is great to hear that you have some ways of looking after yourself when things get stressful. It is important to take care of yourself, especially if you are taking care of others too. Is she interested in reading books? Is she engaged at school? Does she have any hobbies or sports?
Just so you know, I have sent you through an email if you don't mind having a look at that please
05-07-2022 04:36 PM
05-07-2022 11:10 PM
Hi @Tomson I can only imagine how awful and scary this experience must have been for you all. It sounds like she has been getting lots of support from you though which is so lovely to hear. It's also great to hear that she has a few hobbies and things she's interested in and has been keeping up with her studies.
I am wondering if maybe she would reconsider talking to someone else about this, perhaps someone with more experience in working with complex feelings, like a Psychologist for example. Do you think she might be open to this? I also want to say that there are a number of helpful apps to help with self-harming (like Calm Harm) or even activities to help with distractions (such as this activity), however, these will depend on your niece and whether she is ready to try some alternatives.
Thank you for keeping us updated.
05-08-2022 01:09 PM
05-08-2022 03:58 PM - edited 05-08-2022 03:58 PM
Hello @Tomson thanks for giving us a bit of an update! it’s great to hear that you will be trying the resources out and that you have had a discussion with your wife today about taking your niece to get some counselling. It sounds like you care a lot about your niece and are supportive of her and her needs. We look forward to hearing from you about how everything goes .
05-16-2022 09:41 PM
05-16-2022 11:42 PM