05-31-2020 10:30 PM
My 16 year old daughter has got serious anxiety and depression issues, developed over time, to an extent now that she gets all kinds of nightmares including thoughts on taking away her life. Over the past 3 months she has attempted it twice. WE have been very lucky as we have been supported by MH and Hospital Emergency support systems so far. We have been doing everything possible, CAMHS, Psychologist, Psychiatrist, Haemopathic meds etc. She is currently on anti depressant med (escitalopram 10mg) as well as seroquel (10mg) on a daily basis right now. While it seems to be helping to keep herself a little calmer in general but it does also keep her a bit dozed off as well.
Historically, she has been a very introvert kind of a person, she wouldn't say much about her feelings to us as parents. As we know now, In her disclosures with psychologist and psychiatrist, she has admitted that she has been very unhappy with her schooling as she never had friends and felt mostly left out and bullied at times. We come from indian heritage. She was good academically and she had very high goals set for herself. She has been at a private school since childhood until grade 10 and has been among the top 10 students throughout. However, her anxiety and depressive moods got worse and worse year after year. To the point in grade 10 where she would skip classes sometimes and sit outside and cry. She would come home and cry at least twice a week if not more at times. She didn't want to be at that school and chose to go to a public school in grade 11. That public school is also quite competitive academically. She has been much happier at this new school this year as she has lots of her own friends now and she enjoys their company. That being all well and good, she still has got that same competitive mindset and any event related to academics, is enough to get her impulsive very quickly where she gets uncontrollable. This is all recent, in the past 4 months or so. One such event happend about 3 months ago and she lost it, left school and tried to walk through the traffic. Since then there have been another 2 incidents where we had to call upon ambulance/police to get her to Emergency and get looked after in psychiatric ward.
We have been trying all we can and would appreciate any thoughts/feedback from forum/parents who are or have been in a simiilar boat to us. We need help to lift ourselves so we can deal with it positively. Main issue right now is that she has been in and out of hospital a couple of times lately and she has been on meds at the same time, she has lost about 3 weeks of school now and she is very very worried and scared as she has fallen so far behind already. I have been trying to get her to try/accept and drop subjects/school if she can accept that.....i am hoping for anything that could help her relieve her stress.
I am sure we can't be the only parents so we appeal to Any Parents/Families/Carers out there who can be helpful please respond.
06-01-2020 01:05 PM - edited 06-01-2020 04:23 PM
Hi @mumcbr ,
I'm so sorry to hear that you and your family have been going through such a tough time. It must be incredibly hard as a parent to see your child in so much pain and distress, and it sounds like you have all been doing everything you can to help her find the right supports to help her recover. It must have been really frightening having to call an ambulance/ police for your daughter to get her to hospital, and I can't imagine how it must have felt for you at those moments.
It sounds like the thought of missing school work and time at school is causing her quite a lot of stress at the moment, is that right? Has the school been supportive of what she is going through at the moment? Do you think that having a meeting with the school to talk through options to help her continue with her studies might help ease those anxieties a bit? It sounds like she puts herself under a lot of pressure to perform well academically, and it can feel overwhelming, but hopefully they will be able to reassure her that her mental health has to come first for now.
Is she still under the treatment of the CAMHS team or other mental health professionals at the moment?
I also just wanted to check if she has a safety plan that she can use when she is having thoughts of suicide? Beyond Blue have a great app called BeyondNow which can help people to develop a safety plan in a really simple and accessible way.
I'm also wondering if you and your husband have any support for yourselves at the moment? We do offer a free, confidential one to one support service for parents, you can access that here .
I'm also just tagging some other parents who've been through similar challenges with their teens @Dotti2 @Stressedout123 @compassion @sunflowermom - you're definitely not alone, unfortunately a lot of parents have walked the path you're on at the moment, and hopefully they will have some wisdom and advice to share. Thinking of you.
06-02-2020 09:10 AM
Many thanks for all the information as well as reaching out to more parents like us.
Yes, she is under CAMHS now once weekly including a psychiatric check.
We have got a safety plan for ourselves as well as her.
Yesterday as another one of those big overwhelming days where she wanted to let everything go, very angry. We stayed very positive and ensured she doesn't do anything stupid.
Last sunday, we decided to bring a pup into our family and can i say, that is one of the best things we have done in such difficult times, She loves her puppy and puppy does so too, their relationship is developing and helping us all to calm her down when she is really stressed out.
As you have observed, she takes on a lot of pressure upon herself and right now, with too much going one around her, she is struggling to keep up with it all and hence the more frequent meltdowns.
While we had a lot of anxiety and fear going through our heads recently, we are learning to not be so and stay positive. We are quite confident that she will go over the hump in her own way and her own time, we just have to be with her and ensure she is safe as best possible.
With all the support that we have around us right now, we can see the summit already.
Thanks again and really hope to connect with some lovely parents/carers and learn from them and we can all get through this journey eventually.
06-02-2020 12:47 PM
Hello @itilasha , I am sorry to hear about what your daughter has been going through lately. It sounds like a very difficult situation for you to be in. It is great to hear how supportive you have been of her throughout this. I am sure that your daughter is feeling really grateful to have such caring and involved parents.
It sounds like welcoming a new puppy in to your family was a great idea! The love that your daughter and the puppy share together may help her when she is having trouble coping, which is lovely.
It is really important to stay positive in hard times like these, so I am glad to hear that you have been learning to think positive and stay away from negative thoughts. I am glad to hear that you can see the summit already. I believe that this situation was made possible because of how caring and supportive you are of your daughter! Don't forget to give yourselves credit where it is deserved. Please feel free to keep us updated
06-02-2020 01:17 PM
Really appreciate it..
We know it's a long journey and am greatful to find a forum to help us through this like a lot of other parents.