a month ago
I can understand how that must be heartbreaking to want to help your daughter, make everything ok for her and have to trust a system that appears to be working against your best interests. Indeed, it must be scary for your 16 year old daughter to have to represent herself in such a critical state. I can't even imagine how frustrated and angry you would be. Hopefully your daughter receives the appropriate services that will sufficiently support her on an ongoing basis. It might be worthwhile to look at applying for NDIS when a diagnosis comes through for extra support.
It will break your heart but the only way is to simply walk away. My daughter put me through hell for 14 years - I saw less than 10 times from the age of 19 until 25, however, I got used to the phone calls (almost daily) for money. Work is beneath her. She married in a five star wedding and her husband left 7 weeks later. 4 months later she was pregnant. Her rages and abuse became too much for me to handle but I stayed hoping that I could somehow calm her. Her baby was born - she showed no interest. I looked after her baby whilst working full time from home. In 6 months, she had 7 boyfriends. She has insisted I relocate 5 times. I did so for the sake of peace. I didn't get peace. She has one motive. Look pretty and be "pretty little mommy" when the boyfriends come to my home. Now she wants her own "space". Mommy the idiot pays the deposit on a luxury sea view apartment - and the rent - oh and did I mention I bought her an out of the box top range car? I have paid every cent for her, her designer wardrobe, her overdrafts, her hair, her make-up, her tampons, every single thing for her baby including the night nurse. Following a hail of abuse today, I cannot wait for next Friday when she will move into her apartment. She cannot get into my property and I intend applying for a restraining order against her so that I will never have to deal with her again. I will also apply to foster her daughter and given her background I will get this right. BPD's will bad mouth you as the "abusive" parent to anyone they can. I am done. She may as well be dead. My only hope now is to preserve myself and my granddaughter. Next Friday will come as a great surprise to her. There will be NO MORE money. I fail to see why a woman who refuses to work should live the lifestyle she does. She is 5.11". I am 5.6". She has beaten me up since she was 15. She was never abused in any form or fashion and appears to believe that I "owe" her. I "owe" her nothing. She didn't complete school. Drug abuse was rampant. Move along. Block the BPD's on your phone. Don't allow them onto your property. Call the Police is necessary. They create their own drama because that is the only way that they know how live. (PS. I am a completely sane woman of 59 with two Masters Degrees). I have contributed to society. I am no longer going to be the victim of her insanity.
@DESTROYED, that sounds like it would have been incredibly difficult for you to deal with, and I can totally understand why you feel as though you need to distance yourself for the time being. Even though it can be really stressful, sometimes we need to take a break from our family - especially if they continuously cross our boundaries. Have you been able to get any professional support yourself by any chance? It would be really hard to bare that emotional burden by yourself, so it might be a good idea to be able to talk to someone about how you feel
I can also see how you'd also be feeling immensely stressed and concerned @Sheisinthere. Even though BPD is a really hard diagnosis to live with sometimes, stability, growth, and happiness is possible for everyone. Even though your daughter might be going through a tough time right now, letting her know that you are there for her emotionally, and that you will always love and support her will always help, even if it doesn't always feel like it
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