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My daughters Borderline Personality Disorder is destroying me

My daughters Borderline Personality Disorder is destroying me

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Ihearyou

Re: My daughters Borderline Personality Disorder is destroying me

Thank you Josie for your post, I am just seeing this now.

My daughter is almost 23 and we all believe, suffers with BPD.  She has destroyed so many relationships, lost great jobs, so sad.  She and I had a 6 month period where she would not speak to me which, in the end, helped me be able to sit back and let life happen to her.  As a mum, it is hard, really hard.  However, as you state below, it is her life and her journey.  I am praying for a good outcome.

Hope you have been able to find peace.

 

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Natalie-RO

Re: TW: My daughters Borderline Personality Disorder is destroying me

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Hey @Lolalee 

Thank you for being so honest and for sharing this with us.

I'm sorry to hear that you've been experiencing this and that your daughter has been treating you like this. It sounds like you have had a lot going on lately with your daughter as well as having your own health conditions which must be really challenging.

I can hear how hard you have been trying to do the best that you can for your daughter and get her the help and support that she needs. Even by reaching out and sharing this shows how hard you are trying and how much you care about your daughter. I can only imagine how hurtful it must have been for your daughter to tell you that you are the worst mother. It's important to remember that you are only human and just trying to do the best that you can to navigate through a very challenging time. In saying that, you don't have to do this alone and deserve all the support available to you and to your family.

I was wondering if you have any supports or if you have spoken to anyone about what's been going on and about how you have been feeling. Whether it's a friend, family member, GP or mental health professional?

I know that you mentioned that your daughter isn't seeing a therapist at the moment and was wondering whether she had any other supports?

Have you considered connecting with a GP to explore what supports are available or perhaps even speaking to her school to see if they can provide you with any support, some schools have supports in place and school counsellors which may be an option.

I wanted to share this article we have calming an angry teen which I thought you may find helpful. Importantly, it includes a section on staying safe, which is important to keep in mind if your daughter becomes physically aggressive again. I also wanted to let you know that there are some more resources which you may find helpful, they are available via Project Air (click on ‘Families, Partners and Carers’ on that page) which is focused on providing support for BPD.

With everything going on, it's important that you are also making sure that you are taking care of yourself.  It can be really hard to do especially when you are doing so much to look after your daughters, but it makes so much of a difference in your ability to care for others when you take the time to look after your own emotional wellbeing.

Also, I have sent you an email to check in. Could you please keep your an eye out for it?

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Natalie-RO

Re: My daughters Borderline Personality Disorder is destroying me

Hey @Ihearyou 

Welcome back!

Thanks for sharing more about your own journey with others. 

I'm sorry to hear that things are continuing for you and your family. It sounds like things have still been pretty tough. 

How are you all managing as a family? 

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Ihearyou

Re: My daughters Borderline Personality Disorder is destroying me

Thank you for your email.

We are helping each other and keeping each other accountable.  I think my daughter is very close to a huge crisis, perhaps then she will finally get the help she needs.  My middle daughter suffers also with issues but has fought hard for help.  She completed DBT and it changed her life.  She is happily married and has a beautiful baby girl.  What makes the difference is the personal desire for change.  We cannot give that to someone, they must want it.  Help is here for my baby if she also wants to be better.

Take good care.