12-09-2018 09:01 AM
12-09-2018 10:17 AM
Hi @Orbit64 it sounds like an extremely hard and heart breaking decision but you are putting in healthy boundaries I wanted to check in to see how you are doing since your last post? How is your son?
12-09-2018 10:26 AM
Hi @FreakedOut thank you for sharing and reaching out to us also. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through something similar and living in fear for your daughter. It sounds like you could do with some further support as you mentioned the restraining order. I would suggest contacting 1800 RESPECT for some information and support. You could also contact your local courthouse or police station for further information on applying for one. We're here for you.
12-09-2018 10:59 AM
12-09-2018 09:28 PM
We are in WA. There is a Family Violence Restraining Order available.
My wife attended the Children’s court, explained everything and was granted a 6 month order. I do not know how it works in other States. In WA with a detailed explanation in the court, it is granted immediately. The person is then served the order. They have the opportunity to dispute the order, however to do so they have to demonstrate it is not based on fact. We had no issue with this.
The terms of the order are typically no approaching the home within 50 m, no approaching the person or their work, unless a lawyer or police are present or for family counselling.
If the person breaches the order, the penalties are substantial.
If you are in another state, I would call one of the legal help lines and find out what is the equivalent in your state. I am deeply saddened that someone else is going through what we are. My thoughts are with you.
12-09-2018 09:42 PM
Hello @Orbit64, thanks for sharing those details with us. It is unfortunate that these circumstances are not more rare, although it is great to have a place to come together to share these experiences. How have things been travelling on your end?
12-10-2018 06:51 AM
12-23-2018 11:04 AM
Thanks thanks for asking.
Since 5 December we have had a lot happen. Approaching this date, our son was homeless a couple of days before because he burnt the bridges with the extended family of his girlfriend. We approached him and offering for him to come home. Our offer included some really simple basic rules, be calm and respectful, use no drugs, no smoking. He declined our offer of 24 hours safe accommodation.
About 30 hours after our offer of safe accommodation our son turned up at 5:30 AM one morning having been on the street all night and wanting a shower. We allowed him home with the intention of him then finding safe youth accommodation. However he went to his room, and went to sleep for something like 30 hours.
In this time he started showing all of the same evidence that he would become angry and aggressive that he has in the past. Eg. slamming doors, doing minor things to upset others, being verbally abusive, that type of thing.
On seeing all this evidence I wrote a very long email to his psychiatrist requesting some help. I got a great response and we had a plan to help my son, however he became violent and aggressive before that plan came to fruition.
My son became very aggressive while my daughter was at home, firstly smashing a window. Fortunately the police arrived and arrested him. This wasn’t the end of the situation, and we had a downward spiral for the next few hours where he was taken to hospital assessed as not being at risk to himself (despite his psychiatrist speaking to the emergency team at the hospital). Then our son returned home angry and aggressive and smashed more windows in the house. He was later apprehended by police and charged with two cases of assault of a public officer and property damage.
Since December 5 he has been drug-free simply because he has been in youth detention and in a youth bail hostel. In some ways this is been a huge relief, we know he is safe, we know he is being fed properly, and we know he’s not using any drugs.
In preparation for his court hearing we decided to ensure that the magistrate and the prosecuting lawyer must have all the history of what he has done and all the steps taken in the past to help him. At a previous court hearing all charges against him were dismissed due to time in custody. We were very concerned that this could occur again on this occasion because he has spent much more time in custody in youth jail and the bail hostel.
To ensure that the Magistrate gets all the necessary information we did a lot of research regarding lawyers and how we could make sure all the information was communicated to the magistrate. What we discovered was we could write a detailed submission, lodge it with the police who were placing the charges and in this way all of the information would be received for assessment.
In doing this we have provided all the medical history with statements from his doctors, we have provided old and recent school reports to show the phenomenal contrast between what he was achieving and what he has achieved, we have provided communication between us and his psychiatrist to show all the things that we have been trying to do, essentially we have tried to provide a full picture of all the things that we have tried to do to help him.
Then we have written a seven page document, the first page is a summary that captures everything we are looking achieve for him, describing the best and worst case scenarios. The following pages explain everything step-by-step that we’ve tried to do so that the magistrate realises that this boy has a medical issue that needs court orders and a treatment program will come out of the court hearing.
The hearing is is on the 28th so I’ll let you know how our plan went. We are not leaving anything to chance this time. My wife and I are even preparing a short but sucinct statement I can make in court to help ensure there is mandatory treatment included in the outcome for our son.
12-23-2018 12:22 PM
Hi @Orbit64 thanks for getting in touch and providing us with an update. It sounds like things have escalated since your last post and has been an incredibly challenging time. I'm sorry to hear of the incidences that have occurred, that must have been an awful time for you and your family. I can only imagine the mix of emotions you must be going through, on the one hand it's not great that he's in youth detention but on the other hand it's good that your son has been drug free since December 5th and that he is safe. It sounds like you've done a lot of work and document preparation for his court hearing. I hope all goes well and that your son is able to get support in a treatment program
12-23-2018 08:13 PM
I feel for you it will get better don't give up