07-10-2017 09:27 AM
Hi ... my niece came to Australia to live with us almost 3 years ago. She has her first day back at school today. We've made some changes of where we pick her up and drop her off so she is not near the ring leader of the bullying. We also have appointments next week with 4 of her main teachers to try and come up with plans to help this term be more successful.
How do I cope??? I have my good and my bad days. My husband and I have started marriage counselling and I see a psychologist once every 6 weeks. I don't have much of a social life as I have fibromyalgia which makes getting out and about not easy. Sometimes I rest while she is at school other times I do the necessary housework and errands. I listen to music and do embroidery and patchwork as my 'me time.'
07-10-2017 05:03 PM
Oh good, @jdbza, I'm glad the resources we have are relevant to you. Your niece is so lucky to have you, I really hope you acknowledge to yourselves what wonderful parents you are.
Fantastic your niece is back at school. It sounds like you've put in place good safety guards and getting together with the school to come up with a plan for school is awesome. Being proactive and having everyone on the same page can be really helpful.
I'm sorry to hear about your health concerns on top of everything else you're dealing with. Having some extra support with your psychologist, and taking time for yourself is so important.
Keep in touch and let us know how you get on with the school.
07-11-2017 10:11 AM
hi @jdbza I love it that you do embroidery and patchwork! Taking time out is soooo important to relieve pressure that we feel in other areas of our lives. I enjoy patchwork too and have taken up crocheting. I say let the household chores wait! just do the bare essentials I reckon.
07-11-2017 01:48 PM
hi @jdbza you certainly are managing a lot of stress at the moment which I can imagine is not helping your fibromyalgia. However it looks like you are starting off this term trying to put some really good processes into play which lets hope makes a difference for your niece.
I agree with @AeroGirl, the housework can wait. You need to make sure you have the emotional and physical resources to keep managing this situation as well as you have been. And you really are a wonderful support for your niece, she is a lucky girl to have you and your husband step up and be her family when your sister is unable.
Great that you see a psychologist for yourself and marriage counselling will strengthen you and your husband's relationship through this stressful time. Great resource to have going!
07-13-2017 11:55 AM
Thank you everyone for your support ... today's a rough day and I'm about to go and have a rest before school finishes at 3pm. I've got appointments with the school all set up for next week and am praying that we can all work together. On the upside the bully is staying out of her way and changing where we pick her up from school has taken her out of harms way after the last bell at school as we now pick her up on the other side of the school. We've noticed the medication is helping. She's not so reactive and when she is having a 'meltdown' she is now easier to reach.
07-13-2017 06:54 PM
I hope you got that rest in before the end of school @jdbza. Tough days are draining, and afternoon naps are a favourite of mine on those days.
Fingers crossed for your appointments next week. I really hope you get the outcome you need for your niece. In the meantime you've taken great steps to eliminate contact after school with the bully.
That's fantastic that you are seeing some positives from the medication. Similarly to you, I found it helped reduce the intensity of my daughter's rages, making it easier for her to regain self control. Has your niece noticed and acknowledged the changes within herself? I hope she is