05-26-2018 08:03 PM
Today I discovered that my15yo daughter is sending very explicit photos to her boyfriend who is almost 17yo. I was checking her phone regularly because of concerns like this however I was advised by her psychologist not too. It was actually on my spare phone (that my youngest daughter had borrowed for a short period) where I found them. I was horrified at what I’d saw...This relationship has caused my wife and I so much grief, we’ve tried so hard to end their relationship mainly due to the nature of it. And now this! I am so worried about where these photos could end up! Her face appears in most of them also. I haven’t shared my knowledge with anyone other than my wife.
05-26-2018 08:38 PM
Hi @Dj1234 welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing with us. It is understandably a stressful time for you and your wife having discovered the explicit photos your daughter has been sending to her boyfriend. No parent wants to see their child behave this way. I'm wondering what conversations you and your wife have had with your daughter about the risk involved? It might also be good to do some research about the legalities of sending explicit photos and what this could also mean for the receiver? This may assist with her seeing the dangers involved. I'll also tag some of our other members for some further support and advice @taokat @sunflowermom @Caz01 @Schooner
05-26-2018 09:11 PM
05-26-2018 09:36 PM
05-26-2018 10:05 PM
05-27-2018 11:25 AM - edited 05-27-2018 11:27 AM
@Caz01Yes we are on speaking terms btw but since my knowledge of the photos, I am unable to hide my disappointment and sadness and I’m really struggling to be able to talk to her.
05-27-2018 12:06 PM
This is quite a challenging situation to work through @Dj1234 and it's understandable that you may be feeling disappointed or sad. While I don't want to excuse the behaviour in any way, perhaps putting yourself in your daughters place may help to understand the behaviour a little more?
Smartphones and technology have really changed the way we communicate, particularly with dating and I feel like I can appreciate the pressure or expectations teens may be under to engage in sexting. Particularly, as a photo can be shared in less than 30 secs, which may be before a teen has been able to fully think through the repercussions of sending out an image of themselves?
It sounds like you've spoken to your daughter about the consequences (personal and legal) of sharing sexually explicit images however I have found a couple of Reachout articles which you may also find helpful?
05-27-2018 01:43 PM
05-27-2018 07:44 PM
@Erin-RO Hi, I’m trying to justify in my mind how my daughter could put herself in this vulnerable position but I can’t. She knows the risks associated with it which I have explained to her on more than one occasion. She’s such a high achiever academically and also in performing arts yet she’s struggled with her self-esteem and insecurities for a long time which I’m sure has a lot to do with it.
05-27-2018 07:57 PM