06-12-2021 02:58 PM
Hello @Mama-S , it's so great to hear that things have been a bit better for you lately. It's so awesome that you have been able to reach out for support from your therapist and friends and that this has been so helpful! Sounds like things have been a bit better with your daughter as well as her moving in with her father has given your relationship some space. You have given some really great advice about the benefits of reaching out to others when we are going through difficult moments. I am sure others will your words to be helpful! Hope things keep improving for you and your family .
07-03-2021 01:33 AM
Simply put I stopped caring and comparing to be able to let go of my anger I knew I couldn't change the past but I could control my future . I found a hobby I liked to keep my mind occupied so I stopped thinking about how my ex got everything (I found when I had to much time to think it made me angry and depressed that I had wasted so much time and effort to end up with nothing) I started appreciating what I had and what I could have in the future (freedom was the best one a house was a close 2nd) everytime I found myself thinking of the past I would go on the internet and find a new craft project to make or continue on the one I was doing this lighten up my mood. I realised I didn't care about him or what he had anymore, at the end of the day I was starting to feel happy which made me and my mind stronger. And now for the part some won't agree with but it worked for my particular situation. My son gave me hell even more so than the daughter in the post, well I had had enough of Mental and physical abuse and watching the younger children go through hell too so yep I told him "if you can't live by my rules pack your bags and get out" so he did just that, the peace and quiet was bliss, the younger ones were happy life was starting to look up. To be honest I did keep tabs on what the older one was up to, a few months later he begged to come home I more or less said the same thing "my way or the highway" life was so much better when he came back, he realised when the novelty wore off that life is a lot tougher in the real world. He was 15 at the time yes I took a big gamble in what I did and I didn't do it lightly but luckily it paid off for us( it could have totally went the opposite way) he's now a beautiful soul with his own children I tell him I'm looking forward to when they grow up and give him a little of his own back (of course I'm joking- I think)