What a glorious day it’s is and I’m so glad to be able to enjoy it.
As a carer for a self harmer ( for the past three years)that sentence has at times, been very difficult for me to honestly say, but ,now I feel it has become my mantra
( if you can call it that).
My parter, our family and I l, are currently on a very different journey to what we had originally planned 22 year ago.
It’s unpredictable, unnerving, frustrating, counter productive, hurtful,sneaky,shameful ,lonely,dirty,overwhelming and these are only some of the feelings that my partner feels everyday.
My partner has tried, over the last three years, slowly but surely, to let me Know her feelings she suffers everyday.
We all know the moments as parents, when you see your child enjoying what life has to offer and taking risks, riding their bike with no hands (while we might cringe and hope they don’t fall going at the speed they are going) and when they fall, we are there to help pick them up, dust them off and let them on their way.
Or, eating a whole a lot of lollies and we’re hoping they’re not going to make themselves sick in the process,but, when they do we are there to pick up the pieces.
So our family is heading towards another risk in our journey .
The chronic and life threatening condition of a self harmer more that likely can be fathomed by an adult Over weeks or months, when there is enough of an explanation and counseling On hand.
But, when it comes to a child (boy or girl, young or teen) well that is a whole different ball game.
Our teens are getting to an age when what my wife believes is her “dirty little secret” will surface and as much as she we will work together to try and put it in perspective my wife feels it will be like falling of a bike (with no hands) going fast down a hill.
Over the last three years I have had umpteen discussions with psychs from all walk of life(both in hospitals and clinics, even GP’s).
Not one of these professionals could give me guidance as to how you tell you teens that your parent that has raise you, nurtured you, coddled you,laughed, and shares fun and difficult moment with you is someone that Harms themselves as a way to deal with difficult situations and that you still need to call me Mum and it’s ok as when I put the bandaid back on it will go away and you won’t have to look at it anymore.
This is what my wife feels everyday and I’m at a loss as to how I can help her with this and not make a mess of it for her sake.
So, when I found this site by sheer coincidence I thought I would ask the question?
Also, it’s totally ok if you don’t have the answer, my wife is a loving, beautiful and kind hearted person.
We will work it out someday.