Single mum struggling

[Mumtoboyandcat]

Hi,

I’m single Mum to a 15 yr old boy.
His dad lives near by but my son won’t have anything to do with him citing a bad relationship with him.

His father tries to control how I parent and gets very angry with me if I choose to do things in a way that feels right to me.

My son has been in and out of trouble and I’m very scared for his future trajectory, it’s just one thing after another. I have no support, no extended family, and his father blames me for everything that goes wrong if I can’t prove I’ve done things his way.

My son has lived exclusively with me for the past 2 years through his own choice.

Whilst my relationship with my son is not too bad, he can be disrespectful and at times intimidating. I just want what’s best for him and I’m scared I’m getting everything wrong,

He has been diagnosed adhd and he sees a psychologist and paediatrician but nothing seems to be helping very much. I am trying my hardest and parent compassionately, although it’s getting harder to discipline him.

With the pressure on top of this from his Dad, everything is up to me and I’m exhausted and overwhelmed. It is relentless and I just need someone to talk to,

Is anyone else in a similar situation?

Thanks

[Bailey_RO]

Hey @Mumtoboyandcat

Firstly, I wanted to welcome you to our Online Community! Thank you for being so honest and open about what you have been going through lately with yourself and your son. I can hear how much you love and care about your son – he is very lucky to have you in his life. It sounds like you have been doing everything you can to support him and just want the best for him. It sounds like you have done the very best you can to get him some support for his ADHD and have tried very hard to continue to parent him compassionately. It is very normal and understandable that you have concerns about his future trajectory, this just shows how much you care about him and want the best for him.

I am sorry to hear that you have had so much pressure from his father, and that he tried to control how you parent. That must be really challenging for you. It sounds like this has been a lot for you to be dealing with and it is understandable how overwhelmed and exhausted you must be. It is really important that you are also getting all the support available to you and taking care of you because it is just as important as your son getting support. I was wondering if you have ever considered talking to a GP or mental health professional for yourself? Or if there is anything you can do to take care of you and practice some self-care? Even if it is something small each day or week where you are setting time out for yourself to take care of you.

I wanted to let you know that ReachOut has a free one-on-one support service where you can speak with a professional family and parenting coach. If you would like some more information about this or would like to book a session you can follow the link here. Do you think this might be helpful?

Take care and we hope to hear back from you soon.

[Mumtoboyandcat]

Hi,

Thank you for your message.
Yes I would like to speak to someone from your free service.

I can’t see the link in your reply , would you be able to resend it please?

Thanks so much

[Bailey_RO]

Hi @Mumtoboyandcat 

Sorry about that! 

Here is the link to the coaching service. Please let me know if you have any trouble with the link. 

Also I just wanted to let you know that we have also sent you an email to check in with you. Could you please keep an eye out for that? 

Thanks