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Social Anxiety

Discussion forum for parents in Australia


Social Anxiety

Hi. I'm new to the group. Mum of 17 year old female. My daughter suffers from social anxIEty and is extremely shy. Strange thing is at home she is the loudest of us all.. Any advice how I can help with her shyness when she is out and about. It has got worst in the past months, she is often invited to partIEs, but always pulls out at the last minute and gets her self all worked up IE. tears. Because of this you can imagine the bullying she gets. Any advice would be appreciated. Xx
Star contributor

Re: Social Anxiety

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Hey there @Corey1994 I am sorry to hear about your Daughter's social anxiety, this can be very heartbreaking to watch as a parent no doubt. The plus side is it sounds as though she is really comfortable with you at home, and feels very safe there. I know sometimes this must seem like a negative but it's great she has a base where she feels secure. Is the social anxiety quite new? Would she be open to receiving some support from a youth counsellor?

A lot of Psychologist's also use CBT for anxiety which can be quite a measurable technique for young people and sometimes can be managed in under 8 sessions. Your GP would have more info on this Smiley Happy We also offer a free service to Australian members - ReachOut Parents Coaching, there's a tonne of support within this service.


I will tag some of our other forum members for input too.


@taokat @Schooner @sunflowermom @Orbit64 

Super star contributor

Re: Social Anxiety

Hi @Corey1994, welcome to the forum, it's great to have you here. 


It's so hard when our kids struggle socially and I feel for you as a mum and your daughter for the anxiety she feels. I remember times picking her up from parties where all the girls are standing around laughing and talking and my daughter's standing on the outside. She went as a guest to a school formal and I had to go and pick her up after an hour. Even her closest friends turned on her for that, not understanding her anxieties. It was awful. With my daughter it's been about building confidence which is tough because there's only so much I can do, and the rest has to come from within her. I still get incredibly anxious at times though because her shyness can be construed as rudeness when she just smiles on the phone without saying anything for example, or mumbles a response so it's inaudible. 


Has your daughter always been this way or is it something that's come up in her teen years? Does she have any close friends who stick by her? 


I agree with @Breez-RO's suggestions and am keen to hear your thoughts. The parent coaching is a fabulous service that will be able to provide you some practical tips and ideas you can utilise right away. I also agree that it's so lovely that she's comfortable being herself at home Smiley Happy

Prolific scribe

Re: Social Anxiety

Hi Corey1994,

Firstly, I wanted to say that Ive been in your daughters shoes at the same age. Incredibly shy. But happy at home. Are you or were you more of an outgoing person? If you are, its really hard to not feel bad for us introverts. My son is also very shy..he is 17 too (maybe we can set them up?).he actually recharges more when hes at home and comfortable than when hes socialising. Its very hard to watch them being on the outer..I know how you feel. Iwas always on the outer and my son is now. Reading lots about introverts really helps. Also, just having her with you watching how you interact with others also helps her learn. She will most likely always rather be at home which is totally fine but I think she will also find a way to deal with her shyness like I did..she will just force herself to but may always be quiet and misunderstood. I think we all bloom in our own time. Just love her and enjoy her being at home she may change.