Son is lonely

[Xena552]

How Is your son doing now?

[Marty1]

My son is dealing with the same issues in his school.

[Taylor-RO]

Hey @Marty1, welcome to our forums  Do you want to tell us more about what is going on for you and your son? 

[Marty1]

My son is in 8th grade middle school. My son has so called friends. However, the boys he hangs out with tend to shun him during class. Example: when class and when the teacher instructed them to partner up, my son invites one of his friends to work together and they’ll no and go work with another person. He feels betrayed by these boys who are so called friends. My son has missed a lot school because of not feeling a part of the school. He asks me if there is something wrong with him and that is heartbreaking. Of coarse I tell him no and that maybe he needs confront his friends to see what is going on or try to make other friends. I don’t remember kids being this ruthless and mean when I growing up. What has happened to our society.

[TOM-RO]

Hi @Marty1,

It must be heartbreaking for you watching your son go through this. Does he have a school counsellor or a trusted teacher that he can talk to? It sounds like he is very comfortable opening up to you, which is great! The teenage years can be up and down as they try to build their identity and find their place in the world. Friendships can quickly come and go too, so a stable homelife/parent he can talk to is so important!

Do you also have some support around you and people you can talk to about this?

- Hayley R/O

[Fritzbom]

4 years later.. I saw your post and wondered how your Don is now at 18? My daughter is 16 and struggling the same way now

[LadyLover62]

I would highly recommend you find a sport that your son would enjoy. I made lifetime friendships through sport.
If he’s not into contact sports try youth darts, youth bowling(outdoors) or maybe something like Tai Chi or Taekwondo, to build his strength and confidence.

[Astra-RO]

Hey @LadyLover62, welcome to the parents community and thanks for your support on this thread! Sport is definitely a great way to meet new people and connect when we're feeling lonely. It's really nice to hear that you made some lifetime friendships through sport as well. 

[Argeaux]

I was lonely in primary school, until I learned that you can go to the library and read during play lunch and lunch time. The characters in books were my friends.

Things got better in high school, where I had a small group of friends.

It turns out that my autism made me very unpopular in primary school.

[Argeaux]

I agree that getting him involved with a hobby or sport might also help. It can be an easier way to make friends, because you don’t need to small talk.

It also gives you something in common.

Playing XBox all day after school can feel good, because it is numbing. It doesn’t let him practice social skills, though.