12-09-2019 04:47 PM - last edited on 12-10-2019 01:48 PM by Janine-RO
Hi. My name here is going to be mugs. I’m a married mum of 2 girls. 20 & 16. My eldest is in university studying nursing my youngest is leaving school at end of year (year 10). I’ve been searching for people who struggle with interacting & dealing with their teen. And support. My 16 year old has been diagnosed with the same mental illness as myself.! And now may also tick the boxes of adhd. She is discharging this week from her 1st admission in an adolescent psych ward and my concern is her adjusting back home & getting support over Xmas period. I heard of reach out through a list of resources provided to my daughter but had no idea there was a parent forum. Sometimes I feel alone & confused about getting support for her but also for us, the family as we are suffering too. Any advice gladly needed. Thanks.
12-10-2019 01:40 PM
Hi @mugs1170 ,
I'm so glad that you found this space. I hope that it can be useful for you, there's a lot of parents that have been through what you're going through with your daughter. Supporting a child who's living with mental health challenges can be really challenging for parents, and it's wonderful that you have reached out here.
I also just wanted to let you know that I've moved your message from the introduction thread, to its own post on our board, so that you will hopefully get some more support from other parents in the same situation
I'm not sure if you've had a chance to check out the resources on the site yet, so just thought I would link to the landing page here https://parents.au.reachout.com/. It's full of resources for parents, and has some really useful sections on helping your child when they are experiencing acute mental health episodes, as well as shared stories from parents who have been there.
I hear your concern about your daughter adjusting back to home life after an inpatient admission, I think you're really wise to be planning ahead for this now - you're right, Christmas in particular can be a challenging time, especially when someone we love is recovering from a period of being unwell. You sound like an incredibly caring and empathetic mum, and your daughter is really lucky to have you in her corner.
In terms of practical support, have you discussed the practicalities of the support she will be given after discharge with her treatment team? She may be linked in with community mental health services in your area as appropriate after discharge, and your GP may also be able to help with finding a psychologist who can give you medicare rebates if that's something that would be helpful. Having support for you as a family is also really important, and I'm glad that you're reaching out here.
I also just wanted to make you aware of this coaching service for one on one professional support, if you think that might be helpful for you? https://parents.au.reachout.com/coaching#/registration/agreement
The forums are a wonderful space for advice and support, but if you feel like you'd benefit from some one on one professional support, this is one other service that's available.
Thanks so much again for reaching out here, I hope this community can be a safe space for you as you support your daughter through the transition back to life at home. We are thinking of you, and are here if you need to chat
12-10-2019 01:54 PM
Hi @mugs1170 , I've also just popped back to tag in two other members who have recently shared similar experiences that they've had with their teenage kids. I hope that's OK - they have been where you are now, and they may be able to offer some advice or support: @brissiemumof4 and @4MyDaughter , I hope that's OK by you both.
You are all doing a wonderful job supporting your kids, and I hope that you find sharing your experiences here helpful
12-10-2019 07:12 PM - edited 12-11-2019 06:34 PM
Welcome to this forum, and welcome to this community. I'm grateful that you were able to find your way here and, for better or worse, you will find a group of people who know all too well of what you speak. And, yes, of course you are experiencing a whole bunch of emotions at the thought and planning of her return. Of course.
I'm glad that she has you as part of her landing pad at home. It's clear that you care deeply and want to do right by her when she comes home. I imagine that you are sensitive to all that she may experiencing. I imagine that you hope that things unfold smoothly, and that she considers home a safe and healing place. I imagine that you are nervous; things have happened to get your daughter to the place where she has been diagnosed and, for many, that process is not an easy road.
Almost two years ago, our teen was in the psych unit. She experienced much trauma getting to that place and we, as a family, were traumatized by witnessing all that was her pain at that time. And, I felt scared (for our family, there were crises that got us to that point) and I did not feel strong or wise enough to handle it. I felt nervous because everything was so unpredictable. And, I felt lonely--because no one in my circle really knew, on a personal level, what was our then reality.
Can you tell us a bit more, mugs? How was life for you, your daughter and your family leading up to the hospitalization? What sorts of formal and informal supports do you and your daughter have? Good doctor/psychiatrist? Support group of any sort? Friends or family of yours who help take care of your heart?
I would have been lost without my counsellor--how do you feel about support for yourself?
Also, you mentioned that your daughter has same mental illness as yourself...how do you feel about this? Do you have 'a good relationship' with your illness? Does this bring anything up for you (e.g. does her having same mental health issues make you sad/scared? Or, does it make you say, 'Okay. We can do this. I've got this'. (Please know that I am not asking these questions to get you to disclose anything to the boards that you are not comfortable disclosing. I ask you about your feelings about the shared diagnosis as a potential catalyst for your own thoughts, especially in terms of your own self care).
Please let us know how things are going.
12-11-2019 02:22 PM
Thanks so much @compassion for sharing your experience with your daughter and her inpatient admission - it is such a generous act to share lived experiences with people who are going through the same thing now. You sound like an incredibly strong and loving parent to your daughter - I'm really glad that you're here to offer support. Like you said to @mugs1170 , it can be really hard to share these experiences with people when it's so far removed from their everyday life and reality.
It sounds like your family went through a really traumatic time, can I ask how you are all doing now? I completely understand if you'd rather not talk about it, I just wanted to pop in and say thank you for being so generous with your time and experiences on this forum.
12-18-2019 10:18 AM
Hi @mugs1170 , I just wanted to check in, and see how you and your family are doing. I hope that things are going well for you, we are here for you if you need any support
12-22-2019 04:26 PM
12-22-2019 04:34 PM
12-22-2019 04:39 PM
It looks like you’re visiting us from a country other than Australia.
We are an Australian service and think you’d benefit more from looking up a similar service in your country.
You are welcome to look around the forums, but please don’t make an account or post, as we can’t offer you the help you may need.
Before you go ahead and post, you should know that we remove non-Australian accounts – not because we don’t want to help or connect with you, but because we may not be able to provide you with the service that you require.