Supporting a suicidal teenager

[Burntoutmama]

Parenting a suicidal teenager, I am hoping that there are other people in this group in a similar situation?

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @Burntoutmama, thank you so much for making this post. Did you want to share a bit more about what is going on for you at the moment? A lot of parents on our forum have had experience with parenting a teenager who feels suicidal. It can be a challenging journey to find the right support but we are here to listen and support you as best as we can. I will tag some of them below but you can also have a look at their posts here. 

To the parents I have tagged, feel welcome to share your experience and insights if you feel comfortable @Forty-sumfin @Jimmy @Kt537 @JC707 @jajealch @Lilly19. 

[Mamasburntout]

Unfortunately you are not alone, I’m in this boat too, and I keep asking myself how the hell do I get off this ride, this wasn’t the ride I bought a ticket for! 17 year old son who has been seeing a psychologist since he was 14 and attempted suicide at the beginning of this month. Three weeks today actually and I have never been so tired in my lie, I have never been so sleep deprived and exhausted just from stress as I have in this last 3 weeks. I’m a single mum and although he’s got a dad, he’s not as close to him and doesn’t see him much so it feels like all the weight is left for me to have to lift, with 3 other kids to take care of as well, I’m just tired.

How old is your son/daughter? How long have you been dealing with it?

How are you feeling? I know personally I hate this question because it’s easier to stay strong when you are just focusing on your child but I’ve also found it’s easier to type your feelings than say them out loud

[MaryRO]

Hi @Mamasburntout,

So sorry to hear of your struggles with your child. I can only imagine that this would be devastating, exhausting and overwhelming for you. It sounds like you are doing so much for your family and it must be so challenging to be doing this on your own without much support. I recognise you're tired and have big things to worry about right now. Hopefully you can find small ways to look after yourself that will carry you through such heartbreaking and difficult times. 

[Hopesprings123]

Hello @Burntoutmama I have a suicidal 13 year old daughter. She has self-harmed. She is seeing a therapist and is on a mild anti-depressant It is a battle every day but we keep going. I feel your pain and understand the sadness and worry you must have.  Everyday I try to investigate more about what I can do to help her and I am there for her whenever she needs me. It is draining and it is tiring. Please make sure you have some support or help from a counsellor as well. You are heard here and I can relate to everything you are experiencing. x PS my daughter is doing Art therapy once a week and this is something that has helped her. It might be something to investigate.

[Hannah-RO]

Hey @Hopesprings123 

Thank you for sharing your experiences here, it is so valuable to hear from other parents and so generous of you to share what you and your family are going through  

It would be very tough for you and your daughter to be managing her feelings of suicidality and urges to self-harm, have you seen improvements since engaging with the therapist and introducing anti-depressants?

The suggestion about art therapy is a really lovely one! How wonderful that it has helped your daughter. As is the suggestion for parents to get counselling support too - very important points you have made here

[angelazena]

My 13 year old daughter has been the exact same way for over 11 months. Refuses to go to school (even online learning since Covid lockdown - we are in Australia). She self-harms, refuses to eat, is very disrespectful toward me, does things such as drugs behind my back. I am a single mum with two other daughters (older than her). I am exhausted. I am drained. I have taken her to a psych ward twice, and she is seeing therapists ongoing. And is on anti-depressant medication. But still she is the same.

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @angelazena, thank you so much for sharing. We are so sorry to hear that your daughter has been struggling so much for an extended period of time. Your situation sounds really difficult and complex - I can only imagine how stressed and tired you are feeling. You have a lot on your plate trying to manage your daughter's mental health while raising two other children on your own. Being a single mum is unbelievably challenging. Do you have any support for yourself? It is frustrating when you are putting in a lot of effort but it feels like things are staying the same. I am wondering, what do you usually do when your daughter self harms? Have the therapists spoken about your daughter's progress?