03-27-2022 08:53 AM - last edited on 04-13-2022 10:53 AM by Philippa-RO
This is my first post.and I really need some help and advice. In brief, my son has made the connection that alcohol makes him feel relief from his anxiety / depression. He is currently on medication but we are still working with his doctors to get the right one for me. He also sees a psychologist so has a lot of support around him. Since him making this discovery and steeling alcohol from the fridge and drinking it secretly I have removed all alcohol from the house. He has asked if he can have 1-2 beers every now and again at home with me which I have allowed (I don't know if thats even the right thing but I'm so lost). Once I removed alcohol from the house he climbed the fence of a neighbours house (they are friends) and removed alcohol from their bar fridge outside. He was caught and faced the consequences from the neighbours and also from me. My reason for this post is this morning I see he's contacted someone who can provide him with some sort of drug. He even told me last week matter of fact that research shows this drug can help anxiety and depression. One more thing to add is last week his psychiatrist adjusted his medication and gave him medication to prescribe him from time to time when he is struggling until we get his medication sorted. They day we arrived home from the doctor, before I even had a change to come out of the bathroom, he had taken more than prescribed. After I called emergency services to check he was safe he calmly told me he just wanted to know if it made him feel better and not to 'freak out'. Obviously all medication is now locked away but I'm writing because I don't know what to do next. I've discoverd on his phone he's trying to arrange some 'dude' to buy drugs for him and been trying to get them delivered. So my questions and things going through my head are just so confused and scared for him. He is a decent human, never been in trouble, enjoys school and is a respectful and kind person. He doesn't know I've seen his phone. I'm wondering do I panic, do I take all his devices away, buy a tracking or monitoring app on his phone to read all his messages from now on, do I confront him? I have no idea what to do. I'm married but my husband lives overseas so I am physically doing this alone. I really don't know where to turn and don't feel I have much support at the moment. Would anyone have any ideas or suggestions on how I proceed. This has all hapenned so fast. Since Xmas so only 3 months. Prior to that he was studying and just being a normal if somewhat shy 17 year old boy. Thanks everyone for your help and sorry for the rambling. I'm so very scared and confused.
03-27-2022 04:01 PM
Hello @mmichelw and welcome to the forums. Thanks for sharing your story with us here. I am sorry to hear about what you have been going through with your son. It seems like things have changed quite quickly which has made things a bit harder to manage. It sounds like you care deeply about your son and want the best for him, which is why he is linked in with various professional supports. It is great to hear that he is seeing a GP and psychologist to manage his mental health concerns. You mentioned that things have been moving quite quickly, do you know if his psychologist knows about what has been happening lately? Would it be helpful to have a discussion with them about how your son's recent behaviour might be better managed or approaches that might be helpful?
You also mentioned that you had taken away your sons medication after a recent incident. Can I ask if you have any concerns about your son's current safety? Has anything like this happened since then?
It sounds like you are quite concerned about your son using drugs, which is quite understandable. Do you think it would be helpful to have a discussion with him about his alcohol use and maybe enquiring about any possibly drug use? It might be a good way to start the conversation about it and for you to feel able to talk with him about your concerns.
I have also had a look at some other threads from our other community members who are going through similar situations as you might find reading through their threads and the support provided to be helpful. Here is a link to one and here is another one.
I also just wanted to let you know that I have had to edit some parts of your post to fit in with our community guidelines which you can have a read through here if you would like .