02-05-2023 11:15 PM - last edited on 02-06-2023 01:53 PM by Iona_RO
I have come to this forum as I am not sure where else to turn.
We have a 17 year old male that has been diagnosed with chronic sever depression and anxiety over 2.5 years ago. He was our 'happiest kid' growing up, dux primary school, development squad for football club etc.
He has not been at school for over two years, several life threatening attempts. He sees a psychologists weekly, psychiatrists fortnightly, GP weekly, had three stays at the clinic. He has been with this team of medical supports for two years after previously the first psychiatrists retiring and his first psychologist letting us know she was out of her depth.
Mid last year he was diagnosed with ADAH inattentive. He is medicated for his depression and anxiety.
We have taken all expectation off him and have an otherwise calm home.
He is constantly yelling abuse at us, is destroying furniture, mis using his med (like storing them up and then over dosing on them even thought we hand out his meds he pretends to swallows). His specialists keep saying that 'the pre frontal cortex is not engaged in boys till mid 20s'. To be honest I am not sure how long we can keep going.
When we challenge him about his language and behavior he threatens us with killing himself... which sadly he has tried in front of me.
Why an I here in this forum?... I guess I am lost as a mother. I think it is getting beyond anything that we can manage. He is not on any other drugs (other than his prescription, as he had a full blood done last time he was admitted in to hospital).
Has anyone been here / this situation. Any hope gratefully appreciate.
(please be gentle with response - it has been a tough gig lately)
02-06-2023 02:06 PM
We're really glad you've reached out for some support, it sounds like it's been a really tough time for you and your son for the last couple of years. It's really great to see how much you have been there for him but are also aware that you need to look after your own wellbeing in this situation too.
It's very understandable that you would be feeling lost at the moment, that's a lot for any mother to cope with. I'm wondering if you have any supports? Have you been able to chat to friends, family or a medical professional about how you're feeling?
We also have quite a few articles on talking to your teen about suicide, creating a safety plan with them, and how to support them when they are feeling suicidal. You might like to have a read through them for any useful information and tips.
I'm going to send you an email as well, so keep an eye out for that in you inbox soon.
02-07-2023 06:38 AM
02-07-2023 05:08 PM
Thank you for reaching out to share your story and provide support. It sounds like your family have been through some rough times.
Reading through your post, what stands out to me is your willingness to take a proactive approach in supporting your stepson and wife, despite how the situation may challenge you. It takes honesty and strength to reflect on the different parenting approaches – and to decide when to distance yourself or step in. It’s clear to see how much you care for your wife and stepson.
It’s great to hear that you and your wife are looking at counselling for your stepson this year. How does he feel about it? You mentioned that in the past, your stepson has struggled with thoughts of suicide which I can imagine has been quite distressing. I thought I’d share some resources for you and your wife to take a look at if it interests you. We have a number of articles with advice on how to navigate suicidal thoughts here. A few articles I recommend are what to do when you think your teenager is suicidal, how to talk to your teen about suicide and create a safety plan with your teenager.Another suggestion is to take a look at our free one-on-one parenting support service here.
Feel free to let us know what you think of those ideas, and know that we’re here to continue this conversation.
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