07-05-2018 07:56 PM - last edited on 07-06-2018 12:14 AM by taokat
Thanks for your response.
I think she had ASD tendencies and some hyperactivity (she never stops- gymnastic movements, trampoline, now she’s made herself an exercise program) but she seems to mask these at school and when being assessed.
She does things like hide in small spaces when emotions are running high. Just recently she put herself in two laundry bags (one at either end of her body), she hides under blankets, inside the broom cupboard, slides under the cushions on the settees. She’s 13 and it doesn’t appear to be typical behaviour. She also struggles to react in a typical way. Yesterday, her older sister touched her on the shoulder as she went past her, she responded by hurting her. A conversation often turns into her screaming at us because she didn’t get the response she wanted. It’s all so unpredictable.
07-05-2018 07:58 PM
07-05-2018 08:30 PM
Hey there @Andy002 it definitely sounds like you could do with some further support. We cannot provide referrals in the UK but could be good to explore your options. There may even be online counselling somewhere local which is more affordable. It's important you have a safe space where you feel supported, especially around the challenges with your Daughter at the moment. I am hearing you really do possess a lot of love for your family which is wonderful, what do you do in the way of self-care?
07-06-2018 12:51 AM
Hi @Andy002, things sounds really tough for your family at the moment and it's understandable that you're feeling so overwhelmed. I just wanted to let you know that @gina-Ro has updated her previous post with a couple of support numbers for you to help you. (I was just reading through the thread now.)
I'm making use of a mental health care plan at the moment, and have had them in previous years. I'd really suggest taking it up if you'd be entitled to it. The sessions are for counselling and if medication is suggested you can let them know that's not the avenue you wish to go down. I'm not sure what it's like in the UK but here counsellors or psychologists aren't allowed to prescribe medication, so it's okay.
When my tank is empty, my brain is in a fog and it can be hard to make sense of what's happening, let alone see a way forward. My daughter used to be violent and extremely abusive when she was your daughter's age and younger, and I really feel for you and what you are going through. Your daughter sounds like she's really hurting inside too, and we're often the one's they take their frustrations and confusions out on. Does she see a therapist on a regular basis? Maybe you could have a talk to them and explain the behaviours you see at home. Hearing things from the family's perspective can often be a huge help for counsellors who can also teach us as parents, more effective techniques to bring about different responses from our teens.
Hang in there and let us know how you get on.
07-06-2018 09:55 PM
Sorry to hear your are having such a hard time! It can be quite exhausting.... one of my go to coping mechanisms is not to feed into their manipulative ways, hard though if they are being violent! Someone once told me that if I was to give you a present that was so awful and revolting you would decline it! Do the same for other peoples anger, hurtful ness and hatred. I apply this by smiling, it's your anger/ frustration, not mine I'm not taking it onboard..... the minute you take on someone else's bad emotions, you feel them too! We are on a "thrive" program in the U.K. And I find it really useful! Do you have this where you are? Take time for yourself too! I'm not sure if your mum I really dad? If your mum how about some aromatherapy massage for her when she is calm. I do this for my little boy with scented talc, it has a real calming effect. I wish you all the best, hope you find some answers xx
07-10-2018 05:59 PM
Your family is all going through a very difficult time however.......hang in there because you have begun the very first step by posting a little of your situation.
"Reaching out" was the first step for me too as I was battling many years of similar behaviours with my son.....and now as a solo parent.
However.......no matter how difficult it may seem to you at the moment, there is hope and help available but from my experience......you need to be pro-active and seek professionals and assistance out. Supports are paramount and you mentioned you don't have a great deal of that, so seek out the professionals who may provide a service either free or with minimal charges. Does your daughter have a school counsellor you could talk to about your daughters behaviours? Do you have a family doctor you could speak with? A community centre with mental health workers at a local hospital?
Access this forum and remember.....be good to yourself. Meditation has helped me a great deal.....not just practising when a crisis hits, but on a daily basis. I am hoping one day my son may practice too.
07-10-2018 06:56 PM
07-10-2018 07:02 PM
07-11-2018 11:33 AM