01-25-2020 04:30 AM
01-25-2020 08:25 PM
Hi @Sadie123, welcome to ReachOut and thanks for sharing that here with us. It sounds like you are finding yourself in a really difficult situation. There are some other parents who have shared their experience here - if you type keywords into our search bar, you can find similar topics. You can scroll through these yourself but I will include some below. Here they are: 'Daughters boyfriend is not that nice... Any suggestions?' and '18 year old's boyfriend is putting a strain on our relationship'.
We are an Australian service and so unfortunately we cannot offer any services or referral for your country. You are still most welcome to post here and seek support. Have you considered talking to a health professional about what is going on with your daughter? They may have suggestions on how to approach this topic with your daughter
01-28-2020 12:49 PM - edited 01-28-2020 09:32 PM
I understand your concern....I really do. Our family has been in similar situations (notice I'm using plural ), and it's tough. We want to keep them safe, and we want them to make health and smart decisions, and we want them to use that wise part of their brain.
Have you seen any indications that your daughter's relationship is having an ill effect on her? Have there been changes to her grades? Has her friend group changed? Do you feel she's involved in riskier activities? How is her emotional/mental well-being (has her confidence/self esteem changed and so on)? Does she seem able to draw healthy boundaries with him (can she say 'no' to him without fear of 'losing him' or getting him angry)?
You mention that their relationship seems to be phone based, and I wonder if there are guidelines around phone usage that might help decrease your concern (for example, does your daughter have access to her phone all night or does she turn it in at a particular hour; does she have access to social media sites where riskier images could be sent?). In other words, your hope that she cuts off contact with him might not happen and, if it doesn't happen, what family guidelines could be set that reduce the potential harm?
Please keep up updated.