05-21-2022 09:10 PM - last edited on 05-23-2022 05:07 PM by Philippa-RO
My teenage child 15 is self harming.
I tried to talk to them about it. They say they don’t know why they are doing it. They say they are not stressed or unhappy and do not want to see a GP or counsellor. When I try to talk further they shut down completely. Any advice?
05-21-2022 10:21 PM
Hi @worriedmum720 and welcome to our community!
I'm sorry to hear that your child has been self-harming. I can only imagine how scared and confused you must feel right now. Self-harming is usually a way of coping with pain or strong emotions, so I am wondering if there might be something more going on. You mentioned that you have tried to talk to them, were you able to find any information about what causes them to self-harm?
While it is an Australian website, The Raising Children's Network has some really helpful information on Self-harm and may be worth having a look at. It also has some great tips on what you can do to help and what to look at next.
In saying, as this is such a stressful time for you, I am wondering what supports you have around you at the moment. Is there someone you feel comfortable talking to about this at all?
We're all here for you.
05-21-2022 10:58 PM
05-22-2022 08:36 AM
05-26-2022 11:33 PM
Hi Worried Mum 720,
Welcome to our Reachout Parent Forum. I've been coming here intermittently for over a year and am Mum to an 18 year old son and 16 year old daughter. Sometimes, I come here to get advice about issues happening for us, and other times, I pop in to reach out.
I don't have much experience of self-harm. However, I have made good progress with connecting with our daughter lately via going driving in the car. She's learning to drive and finds driving quite calming and we've been on a few 2 hour drives at night. It's not always great, but she's opened up quite a lot. Trying to keep communication going and building that foundation that they is loved and valued, can hopefully counterbalance whatever's prompting the self harm. However, maybe discussing safety and having three phone numbers they can call if things get too much. Finding ways to vent such as exercise, journaling, music. Do you have a pet?
The other thing I've found helpful is going to seeing professionals on my kids' behalf before and found it very helpful.
I hope that helps.