09-04-2020 12:21 PM - last edited on 09-09-2020 03:27 PM by Janine-RO
I have a 15 year old boy & he is not at school due to the COVID, as is the same for all Victorian kids.
He is not engaging with school, he is up all night on the internet & sleeping all day.
We have been having issues with him for over 2 years now, with deterioration major in the lockdowns.
When he wakes in the PM he is disrespectful & can be violent. He is not even coming out of his room for meals- Out for a shower & grab something quick to eat
Sorry not much positive here, but I was wondering if there were any other parents going through this.
09-04-2020 01:12 PM
Thanks for this post, I have moved your response to it's own thread so that other parents may be able to find it more easily and we can have a more in depth discussion on what you've brought up in your post. I have also given the post a title, but feel free to change it to whatever you feel is appropriate
I can imagine many parents experiencing similar frustration around the lockdown in Victoria, my heart goes out to you. It is such a horrible situation that has certainly exacerbated existing issues for many parents and young people.
You said that your son has been having issues for two years, I'm wondering if there is anything you have found helpful during this time? If you would like to discuss counselling options for your son, please let us know and we can talk about this more.
You also said that your son can be violent, I can imagine that must be quite frightening, can you tell me a bit more about that?
This sounds like it must all be quite tough on you @csmith31, there are supports available for you to access as well if you feel it may be helpful. One option is our one-on-one parent coaching service which you can find here.
Another option is Parentline which you can access here to chat through things.
Hope other parents on our forum are able to offer some support here as well, feel free to keep us updated and I hope the lockdown lifts soon
09-04-2020 02:09 PM
Thanks for your reply.
He currently does not have a counsellor, he did have up until last week. My son only had 3 phone sessions & he advised my son that he could move out of home with help from centrelink- My son communicated this with me about 2 weeks ago. I called the counsellor to ask why he would advise such info so early in their relationship. The counsellor stated this was taken out of context & he would not talk to me about their relationship for fear of damaging his rapport. The counsellor spoke with my son for the already booked session(2weeks ago) & has not made another appt with him. I believe he needs an adult to talk to, but not to encourage leaving home. I want help for my son & keep him with his parents a he is not ready to be moving from home.
The violence issues we have with him are an issue, he is on an IVO but I don't want to talk in depth about this on here.
I have obtained a referral this week for a psychiatrist, waiting to be accepted & a cancellation as there is a 3/12 wait list.
09-04-2020 07:50 PM - edited 09-04-2020 07:53 PM
It's great that you're to take him to see a psychiatrist. It sounds like you are doing all you can to support your son, which is nice to see. I might also add that I think it is great that your son is receptive to help - as in, he is open to seeing a counselor and psychiatrist - as sometimes just getting people to accept help is half the battle...
I noticed that your son has only had 3 sessions for a counselor. Is there a reason why he isn't able to get more sessions? Also, if you think your son might find it helpful, you could tell him about Kids Helpline for counseling (have linked you there website here), or if he's after peer support, he can join our youth forum here.
I also just wanted to check in and see how you're going today. How are you? Parenting is tough, especially when these sorts of issues come up. I just wanted to acknowledge that it sounds like you're doing all the right things in terms of getting him support, so just hang in there and things should hopefully get better soon.
09-05-2020 08:35 AM
I have texted both those links to him last night.
He did only have 4 actually, after the 3rd session i contacted the counsellor to question his motive in advising my son about moving from home. The counsellor kept the already booked session & has not rebooked. so at this stage my son has no counsellor. The school however is trying to contact him with a plan for the remainder of year 10 & the Chaplin. But we have no idea as yet if he has answered them. I will check this out Monday.
I am just so worried about him, the 1st lockdown he did isolate, but this time he is worse & with his thoughts of not going back to school this time- Says to me that this could be ongoing until we can get suitable help for him.
This is even more difficult with the restrictions.
If you have any other ideas that would great.
I have been looking into Adventure therapy for him-a 14 day stint being ideal, but again the restrictions have meant that they are not operating.
09-05-2020 08:46 PM
Hello @csmith31, it’s great to hear that you found the links to be helpful. I hope that your son gives them a good read and considers using the services when needed. Sounds like you are really supportive of your son, which is lovely. I hope that you find that the situation with the school counsellor is sorted out soon. It is also really great that you are looking into other support services and are open to trying new things out. I would suggest asking the school counsellor or even speaking to a mental health professional at Parentline about any other local services or support groups that might be appropriate for you and your son to look in to. You might find that these services provide additional support. I hope that things get better soon or your family.